Scientists Have Discovered The Perfect Penis

When it comes to penises, I feel like I’ve seen it all: the good, the bad, and even the uncircumcised. I guess you could say I’m like the Goldilocks of penises. I’ve tried a lot (okay, maybe not a lot, but enough), but nothing has felt just right. Nothing until now.

Scientists recently completed this super scientific study to determine which size penis is the best size penis. Not too long, not too wide, but juuuuust right. They used 100 different sized 3D model penises (so basically, 100 dildos) and had women rate their favorites, which is revolutionary because previous attempts at finding out what the perfect penis size is only presented women with 2D drawings of penises. In my opinion, that’s kind of like asking a guy which steak tastes the best but only showing them a picture of it.

The women in this study picked out the 33 BEST penises, and then ranked them into two categories: ones they would prefer in a long term relationship and ones they would prefer in a one night stand.

According to this study, women prefer a 6.3 inch long penis with 4.8 cirCUMference (hold your laughter) in long relationships, and a 6.4 inch long penis with a five inch circumference for a one night stand. Keep in mind, this is only slightly above the average penis size of 5.17 inches.

Here is a fun little graph someone with a real degree in science made. I recommend printing it out and hanging it by your bed for reference.