Guys are dumb. This isn’t news. We know it, they know it, everyone knows it. It’s just a fact. Some men, however, are dumber than others. Sonko Tijan is one of the dumber ones.
Tijan is just your average 28-year-old guy: broke, dumb, and looking for love. Except once he found love, he looked for it again, and again, and again. Basically, he’s an asshole.
This whole mess came into focus when his pregnant wife sat down for a casual afternoon of Facebook stalking. She was just doing what most of us do on a normal basis–you know, stalk the guy we’re dating back to 2007, search every girl who “liked” his posts, and look up our own names to see if we’re the hottest Rachel within a 15-mile radius. Basic shit. Only, upon typing in her own last name, our Nancy Drew came upon a disturbing discovery.
She noticed a profile picture of a woman with a guy who looked exactly like her husband. So exact, in fact, that he even had the same name, Sonko Tijan. What a coincidence!
Except it wasn’t a coincidence. Despite a joke Tijan once made that “Austrians couldn’t tell black men apart,” his wife knew in an instant that this man was her husband, and that he was also a dick. So, she contacted the authorities and detectives jumped into action, only to uncover the truth about Tijan–the truth every woman fears. But our leading man was not just a two-timing dick. He just so happened to be a 16-timing dick. That’s right. They uncovered that Tijan had at least four wives, seven fiancées, and five girlfriends across Austria and Africa, and not to mention, at least six children from different women.
And you thought your cheating ex was bad…
As it turns out, Tijan wasn’t even using these women for love or sex, which would at least be kind of understandable in this crazy world. He told woman after woman the classic “escaped from war in Africa” story to get them to feel bad for him. Then he asked for shelter, money, and in some extreme cases, jewelry.
Once Tijan’s story was uncovered, it boiled down to two things: let it go or get revenge. And, like, what would you do?
Revenge. Exactly.
So, in good ol’ “To Catch a Predator”-style, our detectives teamed up with one of the women Tijan was “in a relationship with” (LOL) and had her set the bait for him. She offered to lend him money, and like the money-sucking mooch he is, he showed up right on time to collect his prize–and be hauled off by the cops who were waiting for him.
It seems that through all the pain and heartache, Tijan really did accomplish something. He has officially set the record for bigamy in Austria, a place where I thought all they did was sing songs about their favorite things and eat schnitzel with noodles.
Isn’t love great?.
[via Elite Daily]
Image via TLC
Nice Move274
Respond
Rachel Varina
(yeahokaywhat) Aspiring to be the next Tina Fey, Rachel spends her free time doing nothing to reach that goal. While judging people based on how they use "they're" vs. "there" on social media, she likes eating buffalo chicken dip, watching other people's Netflix, and wearing sweatpants way more than is socially acceptable.
@rachelvarina
@rachelvarina
rachalloy
rachel@grandex.co
