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Some Dude Killed A Guy For “Poking” His Girlfriend On Facebook

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Social media flirting in today’s society is about as common as, well, being on social media. With “likes,” double taps, and direct messages, small nods of sexual approval are given on a daily basis. For the most part, it’s harmless. Sure, committing some form of “social media flirting” can be hurtful, but at the end of the day, it’s not really something to beat yourself up about–or someone else.

Scott Humphrey, on the other hand, thought a little differently.

According to the Daily Mail, after a night on the town, Humphrey confronted his friend, Richard Rovetto, about a Facebook incident he wasn’t too happy with. Basically, Humphrey took “insane, jealous boyfriend” to a whole new level.

Rovetto, being a guy, decided to “poke” a cute girl on Facebook. And, in case you live under a rock and don’t have Facebook, a “poke” is basically a virtual nudge. It does not involve physical contact or poking with a penis, despite its suggestive name. So, basically harmless, right? I mean, I’m not even sure where to check for pokes anymore, considering how irrelevant they are. Unfortunately, scary Scott found out that the cute girl Rovetto poked was his girlfriend. After informing Rovetto that he knew of the treachery he had pulled, Humphrey asked his friend in true, basic fashion, “If you’re such a good friend then why did you poke my missus?”

Rovetto said he didn’t know the girl was Scott’s girlfriend, which leads me to believe that they most likely were not FBO, and therefore, he really only has himself to blame. He can’t get mad at guys for flirting with his lady if he’s not even going to declare she’s his lady publicly.

Either way, push came to punch. Humphrey not only didn’t believe Rovetto, but he acted like a dumb guy and expressed his feelings physically, in the back of a cab. Now, they didn’t say if alcohol was involved, but considering the whole “riding home in a cab after a night out” thing, I’m going to guess some drinking happened. While a lot of times, being drunk and engaging physically in the back of a cab involves a lot of fun and a morning dose of Plan B, this incident was a little different.

The taxi stopped and let the men out just as the argument was at its height. Upon exiting the taxicab of emotion, Humphrey punched his friend once in the nose and then a second, fatal time. After scary Scott delivered his second blow, Rovetto fell back and hit his head on the pavement, causing severe injuries.

He died a few hours later.

Scott Humphrey fled the scene, probably to go make his relationship official on Facebook so he could avoid having to kill any other friends. Eventually, he decided to turn himself in and face the consequence: a sentence of four years and four months in prison.

The moral of the story? Every guy should make his relationship official on Facebook, because if not, one of his friends might poke his “missus,” and that could result in a fight to the death, and prison time.

We’re just looking out for you, boys. #FBO

[via Daily Mail]

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Rachel Varina

(yeahokaywhat) Aspiring to be the next Tina Fey, Rachel spends her free time doing nothing to reach that goal. While judging people based on how they use "they're" vs. "there" on social media, she likes eating buffalo chicken dip, watching other people's Netflix, and wearing sweatpants way more than is socially acceptable.

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