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Some Lady Purposely Slept With Nazis In Order To Give Them STDs And Kill Them

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File this under: What. The. F.

An unknown Czech woman was apparently pretty pissed when the Nazis invaded her homeland. Not only was her country taken over by evil individuals, but in the midst of the German occupation, she was sexually assaulted by Nazi soldiers. While wartime “raping and pillaging” was unfortunately very common then (and still is in many parts of the world), said heroine refused to sit idly by while both her country — and her personal life — were ruined. So, she exacted revenge.

She began sleeping with every Nazi she could get her hands on. Basically, it was “Oprah’s Favorite Things” for sex. YOU get a vagina! And YOU get a vagina! And YOU get a vagina! Vagina for everyone! 

Unfortunately for our cunning mistress of the night, not everyone in her town understood what she was doing, and she was quickly branded with the “s” word. That is, until the Nazis started dropping like flies. Then everyone got it. Apparently her wide open hoo-ha was crawling with some sort of disease (my guess is syphilis), and every time she slept with a new guy, he’d literally go off and die. Basically, she was Zoe Benson in “American Horror Story: Coven.”

Warning: video below is extremely graphic and is only intended for those who know how truly fucked up “AHS” is.

Tragically, our mysterious war heroine was found out by a Nazi commander who noticed that quite a few (some believe it was as many as 10) of his men went missing after they did the pants-off-dance-off and she was shot to death. None of the surviving town’s people remember her name, but a plaque was just made in her honor. RIP, you little patriotic vixen, tonight we drink in your honor.

[via Daily Mail]

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Catie Warren

From Rush To Rehab (@catie__warren) is a semi-fuctioning adult who has been celebrating her 21st birthday for the past three years. She attended college in the nation’s capital and to this day is angry that Pit Bull lied to her, as you cannot, in fact, party on The White House lawn. Prior to her success with TSM, Rehab was most famous for being featured in her hometown newspaper regarding her 5th grade Science Fair Project for which she did not place. In her spare time, she enjoys attributing famous historical quotes to Marilyn Monroe and getting in fights with thirteen year olds on twitter. Email: catie@grandex.co

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