Ladies, sit down. I’ve been trying to think of a way to tell you this that won’t result in a fit of hysteria, screeching, or a ladylike swoon, but honestly, I can’t. So, brace yourselves. It’s coming.
There’s a type of vodka that won’t cause (or greatly reduces the chances of causing) a hangover.
Gone are the wasted days of lying in bed, avoiding sunlight, and eating enough French fries to absorb the alcohol in your hungover system, but also make every effort you put in at the gym for the past week completely pointless. It’s called IngeniOz. And it could change drinking as we know it.
A professor at Iowa State University named Johannes Van Leeuwen (I have a sneaking suspicion that his name will have “Saint” added to it, once sorority girls everywhere get their hands on this beverage of the heavens) created an alcohol that is 100 percent pure vodka. Thanks to the lush, Iowa corn, this vodka has fewer impurities than its competition, making it easier to drink, easier for us to make bad decisions, and easier to get out of bed the next morning.
This guy has really made an effort to pay attention to detail, all the way to the bottle–he selected the cleanest possible bottle, so that the vodka remains pure in its packaging. Basically, it’s the perfect vodka. If it was a person, you’d hate him or her. I know they say you can never love something that’s perfect, but I think they were wrong.
A bottle of this magic liquid is $24 dollars. That’s it. It’s a bargain. Basically a steal. Ready for the downside? It’s only sold in Iowa. Iowa, the state you always forgot in geography class. The state you still can’t point out on a U.S. map. Yeah, that place.
For all you lucky Iowa ladies, test it out, drink up, and let us know how it is. We hate you. Rumor has it, though, that if this stuff sells easily, they’ll expand locations. Like, outside of Iowa, where the rest of us live. So, cheers to easy drinking and saying goodbye to hangovers. We won’t miss you. And thank you, Saint Van Leeuwen. You really are a life changer.
[via Elite Daily]
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Rachel Varina
(yeahokaywhat) Aspiring to be the next Tina Fey, Rachel spends her free time doing nothing to reach that goal. While judging people based on how they use "they're" vs. "there" on social media, she likes eating buffalo chicken dip, watching other people's Netflix, and wearing sweatpants way more than is socially acceptable.
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