You can tell a lot about a person by which Spice Girl she was growing up. If you were Baby, you were the kind of girl who was able to claw her way to the top and get what everyone wanted. If you were Sporty, you were either a dude who eventually grew into a gay man or that friend who was only invited because everyone needed a fifth member. If you were Scary, you had curly hair. Move over, Carl Jung.
Notice how I didn’t mention Posh? Because nobody cared about her. She was just some ordinary chick, in an ordinary LBD, who never smiled. Your fan base had an average age of eight years old, Victoria. No one even knew what “posh” meant. Oddly enough, she went on to be the most famous after our Spice World caved in, but only because she married the hottest husband. Now that she’s finally the favorite Spice Girl, after years of taking a backseat to Emma Bunton and Geri Halliwell, Victoria Beckham feels she can stick it to her fans.
She will not be participating in the Spice Girls reunion tour. She forgot where she came from.
While there won’t be a lame-o Posh Spice, there might be something better–ALL FIVE of the Backstreet Boys, perhaps? That’s right. The best Backstreet Boy, Brian Littrell told The Sun that BSB is in “early talks” about a world tour with the girls named spice. (You wanna get with us? Then you better think twice.) Now Justin and Britney just need to get back together. Then the world, as I know it, will be back in order.
[via E!]
Image via Hot 107
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Veronica Ruckh
Veronica (@VeronicaRuckh) is the Director of Total Sorority Move for Grandex, Inc. After having spent her undergraduate years drinking $4 double LITs on a patio and drunk texting away potential suitors, she managed to graduate with an impressive GPA and an unimpressive engagement ring -- so unimpressive, in fact, some might say it's not there at all. Veronica has since been fulfilling her duties as "America's big," a title she gave to herself with the help of her giant ego. She has recently switched from vodka to wine on weekdays. Email her at veronica@grandex.co
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