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Stalking Your Ex’s New Girlfriend On Social Media Is In Our DNA

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There you are, just going about your day, polishing off a nice bottle of pinot grigio at 8pm on a weeknight when a strange desire suddenly hits you. No, you’re not hungry. You aren’t horny, either. Something inside you wants to know what your ex is up to. Even though you unfollowed him on everything the minute you broke up, you still remember his username, so you fall down that deep, dark hole like a drunk Alice in Wonderland.

It doesn’t matter if you’re the one who ended the relationship or not, when your ex gets a new girlfriend, you’re pissed. You immediately head to every social media platform you can think of and get to work. You stalk her, you Google her name, and before you know it two hours have gone by and you know more about her than her own mother. You go a little insane.

But hey, everyone does it, right?

Well, not everyone, but a large majority of people. Western University researchers found that 88 percent of 18- to 35-year-olds have stalked their exes’ pages, and 80 percent have stalked their exes’ new partners.

Why? Why are we so crazy? Why do we just have to know everything about this stranger, who is probably a good person and honestly didn’t mean to hurt you by dating your ex. She’s not an upgrade or a downgrade; he’s just moving on with his life.

Regardless, you become obsessed with knowing everything about the girl who took your place. Instead of being angry at the guy for moving on too quickly, you waste all your time and energy sending friends screenshots of pictures where her nose looks big or her hair looks flat in a vain attempt to prove you’re somehow better.

It’s well known and assumed that guys don’t do the same thing when you Instagram a pic with a new guy. Are they hurt? Maybe, but they won’t show it. Most guys simply don’t care.

According to human behavior expert and life coach Patrick Wanis, “women are always in competition with their own sex.” Everyone is all about girl power and feminism these days, but that urge to “accidentally” run over your exes’ new girlfriend with your car is actually an instinct we’ve inherited from cavemen times. Cave women didn’t have cars, but their primary job was to breed little cave babies and look after their cave household, and if anyone threatened their family they would respond with major hostility.”

You might not have had a family with your ex, but all women have that subconscious “He’s mine” mentality when it comes to guys they date. You can thank our female ancestors for passing their crazy onto us.

So next time you’re stalking your exes’ new girlfriend and feeling like a major bitch for hating someone you’ve never met, remember that it’s not really your fault for thinking of a hundred ways to break them up. It’s just in your DNA.

[via Elite Daily]

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Cristina Montemayor

Cristina is a Grandex Writer and Content Manager. She was an intern for over two years before she graduated a semester early to write about college full time, which makes absolutely no sense. She regretfully considers herself a Carrie, but is first and foremost a Rory. She tends to draw strong reactions from people. They are occasionally positive. You can find her in a bar as you're bending down to tie your shoes, drinking Dos XX and drunk crying to Elton John. Email her: cristina@grandex.co (not .com).

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