Mouse lovers, get ready to break into nostalgia mode. Remember the Main Street Bakery on Main Street, USA in Disney’s Magic Kingdom? Well, the “old time USA” bakery has stopped making cinnamon rolls, because it’s now home to a Starbucks.
I see nothing wrong with this, because I’m addicted to Starbucks, but apparently, a lot of people are PISSED. Protesters think that bringing a big name corporation into Disney (which, by the way, is a huge corporation in itself, you idiots), would ruin the “authenticity” of the Disney experience.
I, for one, think that any parent brave enough to take their little brats to the “House of Mouse” should at least be able to do so after fueling up on enough espresso to make sitting through “It’s a Small World” bearable.
I’m just going to come out and say it: I fucking hate Disney. I, too, used to be a jaded fool who thought Disney was full of magic and princesses, and then I moved to central Florida to go to grad school and realized that A. Disney freaks are their own breed of weird, and B. the people who work at Disney aren’t employees, they’re members of some sort of social rehabilitation program.
Everybody loves a trip to Disney, but the people that take it to the extreme are psychotic. I’ve met people that actually wear Disney attire in public, outside of the parks, and I almost lived with a girl who used a set of Mickey cutlery on a daily basis. I thought I was weird for having a Tinkerbell coffee mug, but there is literally an entire cult of people addicted to the brand. I don’t think throwing a little espresso in the mix will taint the Disney experience, I think it will enhance it. What these “Disney freaks” don’t realize is that they’re a small sect of people who visit the parks every year, and any smart business model appeals to the masses.
If Starbucks were to be banned from the parks, I think it would only be fair to ban the attractions that are sponsored by Kodak. I also think the fact Disney sells Coca-Cola products in the parks is worth of mentioning. Let’s not forget that Disney owns ABC, which owns ESPN and about a million other networks. They’re one of the biggest corporations in the world and a merger with some major coffee supplier was pretty much inevitable. There’s a petition at Change.org directed towards stopping this hostile corporate takeover in the Magic Kingdom, but I’m just going to sit back and sip on my triple venti iced soy caramel latte and laugh at the people who have enough time to get upset about Starbucks making the “happiest place on Earth” even happier.
Image via Daily Finance