Swingers are a mystery to me. How do they find each other? I can’t imagine its like “Hi, I’m Steve. Let me buy you a drink. Also, I’m a swinger.” Is there a secret hand signal? Is there a Facebook group of other swingers in your area that you can swap partners with? There are just so many questions, and while I’d never do it, I am still so curious about it.
Apparently Officer Frankie Salazar of Olmos Park, Texas, doesn’t know the answers to these questions either. Salazar wanted to spice up his sexual life, so the most logical thing he could think of is planning a “wife swap” with his buddy Jesus Guitron. The guy couldn’t just Google “How to spice up your sex life,” oh no, he had to take it to a new level and try out swinging.
Anyway, this past Saturday, Guitron and his wife went over to Salazar’s home, where they proceeded to have a few drinks and light conversation. My question is, what kind of conversation were they having? Clearly everyone’s there for one reason and one reason only, how can you be like “Oh, Sally, how’ are the kids doin’?” when you know you’ll be fucking at any second? Eventually, Salazar started putting the moves on Guitron’s wife, and started kissing her. Guitron’s wife decided she was not about that life, and backed out of the plan.
Enter Salazar’s wife, who had NO idea this was happening. She walks in and sees Salazar all over this woman, who is trying to get the hell out of there, and Guitron, who I’m assuming is in the corner just smiling like a huge perv. Salazar’s wife throws a HUGE bitch fit (who wouldn’t?), which turns into Salazar and Guitron getting into a fist fight. Salazar, being that guy who takes things too far, yells at his wife to get his gun. Guitron took that as his cue to get the hell out of there.
From My San Antonio:
The other woman and Guitron tried to leave, but at the front entrance Salazar shot three times, the woman leaving with Guitron said. She ran but then saw Guitron lying in the street and realized he was shot, she said.
Salazar is currently facing aggravated assault charges, and is currently suspended from the Olmos Park Police Department without pay.
To all you asshats who pride yourselves on taking things too far, be warned. You could grow up to be this guy. Also, if any of you were interested in the swinger life, take this as a “What not to do when swinging” tutorial.
[via My San Antonio]
Image via MNN
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Hakuna Moscato
Hakuna Moscato (@HakunaMoscato) is a contributing writer for Total Sorority Move. and Post Grad Problems. A born and raised Maryland girl, she's obsessed with the Baltimore Ravens, Old Bay, and anything that has the Maryland flag pattern on it. She's a newly retired student-athlete and sorority girl, but not quite ready to call herself an adult, especially since she still has to be carried out of bars. With a Long Island in hand, she's ready for whatever life is throwing her way. Maybe.
@HakunaMoscato
