Syracuse University Sends Out Email Reminding Students Not To Bang Their Professors

Did you spend today daydreaming about boinking your classic literature professor? (I mean, they don’t call it “C. Lit” for nothing.) Well, if you’re a Syracuse University student, you’re out of luck.

Kent Syverud, the chancellor of the university, sent out an email today alerting the students that a male professor, who was “engaged in a consensual romantic relationship with a student whom the faculty member taught during the relationship,” was terminated by the Syracuse University Board of Trustees and is no longer employed by the school.

Are you KIDDING me? So Syracuse is a university that will fire a professor over a CONSENSUAL relationship, but it’s also a school that makes headlines for closing its advocacy center for sexual assault? Jesus H. Winfrey, talk about an ass-backwards university. Sounds like Chancellor Syverud needs to realign his priorities.

Besides, which one of us hasn’t fancied taking a roll in the hay with one of our professors? I had a geology professor who made me harder than marble. I had to stay after everyone left my public speaking class because Lil Stefon seemed to have a complete lack of stage fright. And my creative writing professor…well, I’m all out of puns, but the professor was REALLY hot, okay?

This seems like an incredibly backward decision to punish two of-age adults in a consensual relationship. The university probably ruined the professor’s career and it possibly even ruined the student’s, as well. Sounds pretty fucked up to me.