47 Things Only “That Girl” At The Party Will Relate To

girl passed out

At some point in every chick’s life, you will be “that girl” at a party. You are going to be the crazy gal who makes a total mess of yourself in front of people who you probably will run into again. If you aren’t this woman at least once, you’re probably doing college wrong. It stresses the other partygoers out a bit watching you stumble around. At the time of your devilish state of being, you never want to believe you are “that drunk bitch” because, in your mind, you haven’t had that much to drink. However, there are plenty of ways to notice if you have officially earned the nickname “That Girl” for the night.

  1. People are taking videos of you.
  2. The floor has become your new BFF.
  3. You’ve kissed (slobbered on) more guys than you can count.
  4. Including your ex.
  5. And your best friend’s ex.
  6. People ask where your friends are.
  7. When playing beer pong, your ball never even touches the table or cups.
  8. You’re barefoot.
  9. People probably think your puppy just died because of your sudden emotional breakdown and the tears that follow.
  10. All of these waterworks make your eye makeup resemble Taylor Momsen.
  11. Everyone who has been even remotely nice to you now knows how much you “loooooooove” them.
  12. Strangers have learned deep, personal secrets about you, as told by you.
  13. All of your friends have gotten into some kind of argument with you.
  14. You’ve danced on every single elevated surface.
  15. And have fallen off of most of them.
  16. Each of your phone contacts has received at least one text, including your boss.
  17. You give your arch nemesis a string of compliments when you bump into her.
  18. Pretty much everybody keeps staring at you.
  19. You have tried to twerk upside down on a wall.
  20. And on a cop car.
  21. When you lay down to pass out in a somewhat vacant room, the room begins spinning.
  22. And after someone wakes you up there are penises drawn on your forehead.
  23. People have to ask you four times what you are trying to tell them because they can’t comprehend your drunk language.
  24. You can’t even taste tequila anymore because your taste buds have gone numb.
  25. People have been doing body shots off of you all night.
  26. And you’ve been doing them off of anyone willing to let you use their body as a shot table.
  27. You break everything you come in contact with.
  28. Everybody gives you the same words of wisdom, to drink water.
  29. You slapped the shit out of that prick you copy off of in class because he made a higher grade than you on the last test.
  30. Random strangers offer to take you home.
  31. And eventually a pledge will be ordered to if nobody else does.
  32. Your friends are ashamed to be seen with you.
  33. Somehow or another you become majorly injured.
  34. “I’M A GOOD PERSON,” is basically your new tagline.
  35. You convinced the DJ to let you embrace your talent, but really he just showed you which knob to turn.
  36. The shirt you’re wearing is going straight to the dumpster or homeless person in the morning thanks to how much you fucked it up.
  37. A lot of this came from you rolling around on the punch-infused floor as you tried to pull yourself back up after one of your tragic falls.
  38. You have no idea what happened 30 minutes ago.
  39. There are five new contacts in your phone.
  40. And seven new Snapchat friends.
  41. Boys keep trying to find something to replace one-dollar bills to throw at you as you twirl around anything that resembles a pole.
  42. Why did you even get a manicure? You just broke half of your nails.
  43. You’ve been throwing a hissy fit and yelling, “QUIERO TACO BELL” at all of your “bitches.”
  44. It looks like a five-year-old put lipstick on you.
  45. The whole party has seen your tits and ass.
  46. People have to hold you up straight.
  47. Or carry you.

Hey, at least you won’t remember any of it, right?

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Kellie Stritz

Kellie, spelled with an "ie," practically resides at Starbucks even though they have yet to spell her name correctly. She's obsessed with the color pink, Elle Woods, and Bitmoji's. Her biggest accomplishment is breaking the record within her sorority for how many standards hearings she has had without getting kicked out. She spends her free time trying to stay tan (i.e. sunburnt) and stalking people on social media.

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