Standing

What It Is: Guy stands up. He lifts girl. She sort of hops/jiggles around with his penis inside of her.
This position is for girls who feel really skinny and guys who feel inadequate. I’m sorry, but I just don’t trust anyone who would choose to stand when they could lay down. In a bed. With pillows and throw blankets. It honestly just doesn’t compute. If you’re one of these psychos you probably enjoy organized sports or physical activity. Do you have a gym membership? You bet your sweet, squats sculpted-ass that you do. Have you monitored how many calories you burned during sex on your FitBit? Hell yeah. Do you and the guy you’re banging use a mirror just to look at how hot you are? Duh. Sure we all hate on you, but you know the truth. We’re just jealous, out of shape, haters. At least that’s what you tell yourself.
Chance Of An Orgasm: You get an orgasm every time you look at yourself in the mirror, so an obvious 100.

Reverse Cow Girl

What It Is: Guy lays down (again, hands behind his head optional). Girl sits on top of him, but instead of sitting face to face, she turns around so her ass is facing him.
The girl who loves this position is the girl you fear. Either she has her entire, perfect life together or she’s a beautiful, freak of nature. Either way, she’s usually the hottest girl in every room because it takes someone with killer confidence to pull this off. Is it because the guy is staring up her asshole? Maybe. Is it because it takes a contortionist to actually get off in this position? Quite possibly. Whatever it is, she’s usually the life of the party, and brings life to the bedroom. Or the kitchen counter. Or on top of the dryer.
Chance Of An Orgasm: 20 percent, thanks to our old friend, friction.

Face Down Ass Up

What It Is: Exactly like doggy. But instead of resting on her hands, she either rests low on her forearms or puts her hands behind her back, and is resting on her face.
The FDAU girl is sort of a freak. Guys love her. But they love her the way they love late night Taco Bell. It’s fucking amazing. And it’s going to rock their world. But the next day most guys wont feel that good about it. It’s not a thing of pride. You’re not going to take fucking Taco Bell home to mom. That being said, these chicks have amazing sex, and guys pretty much adore them in a “we’re never going to date” way. But still, they’ll find their kinky soulmates and those guys will be the happiest, freakiest bastards in the world. Lucky bitch.
Chance Of An Orgasm: 90 percent. If you’re doing this you know how to get it done. And by “it” I mean orgasms.

Shower

What It Is: Girl stands in shower (facing away from the water if she knows what’s good for her). Guy stands behind her. She bends at the hips and he takes her from behind. Think doggy. But standing up. And in a slippery box of danger.
Shower sex as a favorite is a slippery choice (ha HA enjoy the punny things in life, guys). If this is your go-to, you’re not only very task oriented, but your to-do list is your life. You know that you want/need to have intercourse with your bf. But you also have to go to class, attend an IM game, go to meal plan, go to the gym, blah blah blah. So instead of wasting time by banging then showering, you do them both at the same time. No, it’s not the best for getting you there, but it’s quick, it’s easy, and it’s clean, which is basically your life motto.
Chance Of An Orgasm: 10 percent, but hey, it’s not like you were actually expecting to get off anyway.

69

What It Is: Hell.
If your favorite sex position is laying on top of a guy like a beached whale while you both half-heartedly lick each other’s genitals, are stare into your assholes, then I don’t want to know you. Ever. Sure the occasional 69 when you’re drunk and neither of you is willing to take the plunge alone, okay. But this? Your favorite? For shame, ma’am. For shame.
Chance Of An Orgasm: None. Okay maybe like 30 percent. But at what cost?

So whichever one one you choose, go forth and enjoy. Happy orgasms!.

Nice Move641

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Rachel Varina

(yeahokaywhat) Aspiring to be the next Tina Fey, Rachel spends her free time doing nothing to reach that goal. While judging people based on how they use "they're" vs. "there" on social media, she likes eating buffalo chicken dip, watching other people's Netflix, and wearing sweatpants way more than is socially acceptable.

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