The Bad
5. Katy Perry
Image via Associated Press
Katy Perry wore the worst frock Gucci has ever produced. The nominee attempted to adhere to the aforementioned dress code memo, by covering herself from head to toe in mint green. Her long-sleeved gown actually COULD have worked if it weren’t for the whole neckline situation. I’m not referring to her cleavage-baring keyhole detail, I’m referring to her flower-child looking built in necklace. While I love that Katy’s hair is back to black, and that she’s trying to make more mature fashion choices, that dress was all wrong. She is making steps in the right direction, but her dress completely missed the mark. The tone of her ensemble could have been understated, feminine, and simple. She was almost there with her romantic waves, simple makeup, and the pastel color of her dress. She had almost convinced me her stylist wasn’t blind until I couldn’t keep my eyes off the hideous jeweled scenario happening above her non-Sesame Street approved boobs.
4. Tim McGraw
Image via Associated Press
I’m just going to come out and say it: I don’t like country music, and I don’t understand why it was happening at the Grammys. That being said, I think Tim McGraw proved that nothing is impossible as he did Tom Ford wrong. Leaving his black dress shirt unbuttoned made him look a lot more red<em>neck</em> than red carpet. Completing his look with a faux-looking leather cowboy hat only hurt him. NO. NO. NO.
3. Miranda Lambert
Image via Associated Press
This girl needs to fire her stylist. She chose the wrong dress not once, but TWICE in one evening. Her Roberto Cavalli floor-length gown for the red carpet was unflattering in every way. The neckline was far too low and only accentuated Miranda’s less-than-perfect cleavage. The empire waist was a wise choice for the star, but the pleating on the skirt only made her look heavier than she is. I think she had the right idea, but she executed it poorly. Her performance dress, however, was absolutely awful. Miranda is by no means fat, but she needs to learn how to dress her body type. She cannot continue to dress like she’s a size 2. Dresses like the too-short, too-tight, too-sequined, and too-sheer mini she wore on stage are just not appropriate. No, no, no, Miranda. Bad girl.
2. Jennifer Lopez
Image via Associated Press
Jennifer Lopez is gorgeous, and there is no use in trying to argue that fact. At the Grammys she mind fucked us all with her look. She wore a black Anthony Vacarello, and looked identical to a person who’d gone scuba diving in a burka, but gotten half of her outfit ripped apart by a shark. J Lo has an amazing body, and she chose to show off…one of her legs. While I think she was overwhelmed by the dress restrictions, she definitely underwhelmed in the black number that was more “slutty mumu” than “red carpet gown.” Also, what the hell was going on with her Mulan bun?
1. Taylor Swift
Image via Associated Press
She’s made it clear she can’t keep a boyfriend, and can’t dress herself in real life, but one would think she would be able to recruit someone to dress her up for huge events such as the Grammys. Taylor looked like an absolute mess in a white J.Mendel design. The dress itself wasn’t actually that bad, but it was way too old for the 23-year-old. The white, Grecian-inspired dress would have actually been better worn by J.Lo. The color drowned out her pale skin and her dishwater blond hair looked beyond frizzy in her braid, which was either inspired by Little House on the Prairie, or T. Swift just didn’t have any mirrors…or hairspray. To add insult to injury, Swift revealed on E!’s “mani cam” that she painted her own nails before the show. I thought only eleven-year-old girls did that at sleepovers when they were taking breaks from calling their crush and hanging up.
Nice Move190
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