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The 4 Types of Top Tier Sororities

Every sorority has a stereotype…some are true, others are also true. This is just a quick look at the types of sororities you’ll find on top.

The Hot Blonde House

You know them, I know them, they’re impossible not to notice. They stand tall, proud, and intimidating at 5’4”, 103 pounds, big boobs, and long blonde hair. They’re the best sorority on campus, leaving the least to the imagination. They’re the hot blondes, or more commonly referred to as the coke whores. No one will deny that they’re absolutely beautiful. Neither will anyone deny that they’re the sole reason the word “tanorexic” is thrown around your campus so often. They do more cocaine than community service, their sisterhood is more about brotherhoods than anything else, and to be frank, they’re bitches. Say what you want, but they’re still the prettiest, so you still don’t matter, and they’ll make damn sure you know it.

The Overly-Competitive House

Collectively, these girls might be the most hated sorority on campus, but only for the same reason the Yankees are the most hated team in baseball: they’re the team to beat. They win EVERYTHING and God forbid they don’t, the estrogen-fest of the year will commence and their new girls won’t see sunlight for 5-7 business days. Their trophy case makes you want to vom and the over-powering screeching of their chant at every event ever haunts your dreams. We get it. They won Greek Week this year…and last year…and the year before that. They won Derby Days, they won Paddy Murphy, and they had the best homecoming float. It’s no surprise, though. When you have two-a-day practices in preparation for fucking trivia night, yes, you probably will win everything. You might think everyone else is jealous, and to some extent you’re right, but more than they are jealous of you, they’re irritated with you. Do less, girls. Do less.

The Housewives

These girls are perfect. They’re beautiful, kind, and exude nothing but class daily. They’re the best at baking, the best at crafting, and the best at making boys fall in love. They’re the definition of “girlfriend material.” Some might say they’re boring because they lack a wild side, but maybe they’re just better at hiding it. You wonder if their sweet temperament is a facade. Maybe it is, maybe it isn’t. Guess you’ll never know.

The Over-Rated House

They’re presumed to be top-tier. Like all the other top sororities, they get the best scores during recruitment, mix with the best fraternities, and have the arrogance to match. But as you walk around campus, you can’t help but notice that every single day you see girls wearing their letters that make you think “SHE’S in ___?! How the hell did that happen?” The first few sightings shocked you, but as time goes by female linebackers boasting ___LAM no longer phase you. They must be rockstars at recruitment with a REALLY big kitchen to hide all of those abominations in, otherwise they’re riding on reputation alone to keep up this charade.

Next up: The 4 Types of Middle Tier Sororities

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