Spring break is a college girl’s version of being stuck in a candy store, winning the lottery, or marrying Ryan Gosling. There’s only one thing we love more than getting drunk on the beach: taking pictures of how much fun we had while getting drunk on the beach. Between pounding shots first thing in the morning and that nightcap you definitely do not need, you’re sure to spend plenty of time proving how awesome your spring break is on Instagram. Maybe if you’re lucky, you’ll even manage to take one that’s recruitment-montage appropriate. Good luck with that. Here are the six pictures you will undoubtedly snap during your drunken escapades.
Throwing what you know on the beach.
Did you really go on spring break if you didn’t take a picture of your sisters and you throwing up your hand sign on the beach? How else will people know that your sorority is really fun and you all look good in swimsuits? Spring break is basically a weeklong competition to see which girl is the hottest, and you need to prove that you and your sisters are at the top of the pack. Bonus points if you face away from the camera because you like to think you’re creative.
Artsy picture of your drink.
You’re posting this picture to #HumbleBrag about how lucky you are that you get to be on spring break with your best friends, and about how you’re having the greatest week you’ll never remember. You want to make everybody at home super jealous of the fancy umbrella drink that you overpaid for that probably has less alcohol than you could get at your friendly campus bar. Who cares if it contains more calories than you’re supposed to consume in a day? It’s pretty and it tastes good. Bonus points if it’s something other than a piña colada.
Group shot with the random hot guys from your hotel.
Whether you’re trying to prove how over your ex you are or just that you can flirt with boys, this is a must-take picture. The more hot guys, the merrier. Maybe you ran into them at the hotel pool and hung out with them for the rest of the week, or maybe you met them for two seconds on the dance floor of a grimy club — no one else needs to know. But one thing is for sure: They will forever be memorialized as the hot guys you met on #SpringBreak2015. Bonus points if you manage to steal one of their frat tanks.
Blackmail photo of your drunk, passed out friend.
Probably as payback for the infamous picture of you from formal, you can’t forget to take a picture of your friend passed out in the doorway of your hotel room after one too many shots of tequila. You’ll Insta this in black and white because your drunken self thinks that makes everything classy. Your friend won’t see it until you get home because she lost her phone while having sex in a cabana on the beach, so you have nothing to worry about. Bonus points if you have to help her find her underwear the next day.
Selfie in your favorite bikini.
You worked hard for that spring break bod and now you need to show it off. You didn’t spend the last eight weeks in spin classes and eating celery to not rub it in that conceited girl from your rival sorority’s face. With that new pushup top you got from Victoria’s Secret, your boobs have never looked better. Plus, with just the right lighting and proper filter, you can make your B cups into Ds. Bonus points if that hot guy from your nutrition class “likes” it.
Panoramic picture of the sunset on the beach.
No spring break is complete without the generic sunset-on-the-beach picture. I’m pretty sure it’s physically impossible to spend seven days on the beach without managing to take one decent picture of the sunset, even when you are too drunk to find your shoes. It’s sorority girl nature to photograph anything we find pretty, because we need to prove how awesome our lives are. Bonus points for #NoFilter.
As hard as you may try, spring break is sure to be a photo shoot that will follow you for the rest of your college career. So make sure you censor yourself a little, or at least delete your standards chair on Instagram. #PartyOn.
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InVinoVeritas
InVinoVeritas is a recent college graduate who spends most of her time drowning her sorrows of graduation in coffee and tequila shots. She enjoys monogramming anything that doesn't move and drinking copious amounts of wine. Compliments, love letters, and cute videos of animals dressed as humans can be sent to invinoveritastsm@gmail.com.
@VinoVeritasTSM
