Summer is the time for a lot of things. Tan lines and beach days. Thanking the high heavens that one piece suits are finally in style again and eating tons of guac after relaxing in the sand all day. But the best thing that summer has is, of course, the hookups. Whether it’s with randoms, your FWB, or your boyfriend, you want to kick up the heat on your love life. These tried-true moves are sure to make things get hot and steamy in no time.
1. The Lotion Up
• Lay on your stomach and untie your swimsuit top.
• Seductively ask him to lotion you up.
• Yell at him when you realize he used SPF 50 instead of tanning lotion.
• Ignore him for the rest of the day.
2. The Popsicle Lick
• Grab two popsicles and hand one to your man.
• Start slurping on yours while making eye contact with him.
• Ask him if you can lick his.
• When he says yes, steal his popsicle and eat the rest of it.
3. The Skinny Dip
• Drive to a secluded body of water at night.
• Ask him to go skinny dipping with you.
• After he strips off, get nervous about being naked in front of him in the moonlight.
• Ask him if he thinks you’re fat.
• Cry because you think he thinks you’re fat.
4. The Hot Commitment
• Start making out.
• Say you want to take “things to the next level.”
• When he agrees, pull out your laptop.
• Tell him to change his status to “in a relationship.”
5. The Sex On The Beach
• Tell him you want to bang on the beach.
• Start rolling around aggressively in the sand with him.
• Right before having sex, insist on inspecting his penis for any sand.
• Spot some.
• Say this was a waste of time.
• Come home and watch Netflix.
6. The Water Play
• Take a dip in the pool on a hot day.
• Start kissing him seductively.
• When he puts his wet hand in your hair yell at him for getting your hair wet.
• Get out of the pool and mope.
7. The Pool Party
• Invite him to your house for a *raging* pool party.
• Hire a minister, florist, bartender, and caterer.
• Ask his mom and dad to attend.
• When he arrives, say “surprise!”
• Tell him it’s a wedding.
• Get married.
• Live happily ever after.
Nothing like a little summer lovin’..
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Rachel Varina
(yeahokaywhat) Aspiring to be the next Tina Fey, Rachel spends her free time doing nothing to reach that goal. While judging people based on how they use "they're" vs. "there" on social media, she likes eating buffalo chicken dip, watching other people's Netflix, and wearing sweatpants way more than is socially acceptable.
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