If you’re convinced you’re a princess, you might be right — a new survey says the average woman woman kisses 15 frogs before she finds her prince. According to survey numbers, she has two long-term relationships and lives through one heartbreak before she meets the right guy. These numbers have to be wrong. If the average woman only experiences a single heartbreak, why is Taylor Swift so popular?
I have to wonder what kind of MO this study accounts for. If it’s a regrettable and forgettable DFMO at your favorite bar or fraternity house, can’t that be left out of the equation? Really, only romantic MOs should count, which would leave most sorority girls with an average closer to 0, which is a fresh slate. Let’s say Prince Charming was your 15th kiss. Do you have to go back to that disgusting dive bar to find him? While you probably didn’t leave a glass slipper there, you might find an expensive wedge. You might even find him, if you can still remember what he looks like without the help of vodka goggles. They’re just like rose colored glasses, with the magical ability to make your unfortunate formal set-up look like Ryan Gosling by the end of the night. After all, if your life is a fairy tale where you find your prince, vodka is definitely your magic potion.
This study leaves sorority girls nationwide with questions. If you can’t remember their name(s), does it still count? Asking for a friend (the friend is me). What if they have charming nicknames instead? The pledge in a diaper at Mardi Gras, the Doctor, the foam party Fiji, etc. It’s unclear if mistakes increase your average, or if you can cross them off your list if they’re blamed on a blackout.
The study says the average woman has four awful dates and four one-night stands (get excited). In comparison, guys will have six one-night stands before they settle down. Men claim an average of 10 penetration partners, while women say they have closer to 7. 69% of respondents looked back and felt they had a tough time finding true love. The other 31% probably had Pinterest weddings with randos the second they threw their graduation cap in the air, because finding love is a lot of things, but easy isn’t really one of them (just ask Chuck and Blair).
Before you start sobbing to your best friend because you surpassed your number early freshman year at the annual Pike party, make sure to take the findings with a grain of salt (and a tequila shot). They’re from a study commissioned as a promotion for a book called The Rosie Project, about a man looking for the perfect woman. While we’d all like to believe romance isn’t dead, sometimes real life doesn’t exactly work out like a romance novel, so it’s safe to say the numbers from the study aren’t 100% perfect. I can’t help but think this study would make a perfect rom com, where the girl in question re-lives all of her sloppy college MOs on dirty dance floors, in a valiant attempt to track down “the one.”