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The Bachelor Contestant Standings: Week 4

Nick takes the ladies home entirely too early, but who even knows what’s going on this season. Apparently they were supposed to go somewhere nice, but the weather took them to beautiful Wisconsin, because that’s better? Tensions are high and Corinne is on everyone’ last GD nerve. There are two uncomfortable one-on-one dates and one group date to a smelly manure farm. Let’s see how our ladies did.

Still In The Game

Alexis, 23, aspiring dolphin trainer, Secaucus, NJ

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Performance This Week: Alexis is still my girl. She can make anything fun, even a stanky farm.

Odds: 1/85

Astrid, 26, plastic surgery office manager, Tampa, FL

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Performance This Week: Astrid described the smell of the farm as “cows and nature,” which is the most positive way to describe it. It was terrible and everyone knew it.

Odds: 1/200

Corrine, 24, business owner, Miami, FL

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Performance This Week: Corinne couldn’t go near manure, of course, so she just peaces out. She overhears people talking about her, and defends herself by describing herself as a juicy corn with pellets of information. Corinne overhears the girls talking about her and after deflecting her insanity intervention, she went and tattled to Nick, who has to have some sense of decency and realize she twisted the story. She dragged Taylor until there was a “to be continued” and a promo for a two-on-one with Corinne and Taylor. Dun dun dun.

Odds: 1/60

Danielle L., 27, small business owner, Los Angeles, CA

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Performance This Week: Danielle got the first one on one, which ended with she and Nick walking by a cafe and seeing his ex, and then having to SIT DOWN AND CHAT. Nightmareish. She got the rose for being a good sport. Then later, she refuses to let Taylor interrupt time, but instead lets her sit down and talk with then until Corinne drags her away. Rough week for this girl.

Odds: 1/20

Danielle M., 31, neonatal nurse, Nashville, TN

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Performance This Week: Danielle M. went on the farm date and she is still not getting a lot of airtime, which seems very odd.

Odds: 1/25

Jaimi, 28, chef, New Orleans, LA

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Performance This Week: Jaimi milked the cow the fastest, which is oddly in character for her. But if she said “teats” one more time, everyone was going to lose it.

Odds: 1/80,000

Jasmine G., 29, pro basketball dancer, San Francisco, CA

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Performance This Week: Jasmine tried to keep her best attitude on the farm. She clenched her teeth and said “yeah Nick I love doing this!” Good for her for making the best of it.

Odds: 1/200

Josephine, 24, unemployed nurse, Santa Cruz, CA

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Performance This Week: Josephine took her crazy ass to the farm. I know she’s harmless, but she’s just so weird.

Odds: 1/1,000,000

Kristina, 24, dental hygienist, Lexington, KY

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Performance This Week: Krisitna alludes she had a rough growing up, but says she will only. tell story “in pieces,” which is very sketchy. She joined Vanessa in trying to tell Corinne why she is wrong, and dozed off when Nick came back, only to be awoken by being given the group date rose. She was more surprised than everyone and we are already very surprised,

Odds: 1/9,000

Rachel, 31, attorney, Dallas, TX

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Performance This Week: Rachel went on the farm date and she is falling farther and farther behind. She participated in the intervention because she actually has her head screwed on straight and could give this poor girl some guidance.

Odds: 1/150

Raven, 25, fashion boutique owner, Hoxie, AR

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Performance This Week: Raven was taken on the second one-on-one date to watch Nick’s sister Bella play soccer with Nick and parents. Nothing says romance like youth soccer. Then they go roller skating with Bella, and Raven gets the sister’s seal of approval. During the dinner portion, Nick asks about her last relationship. And as it turns out she tried to bash his head in with a shoe when she walked on him with another woman. She saved it by saying she “learned from her experience,” but she still got the rose. Probably because Nick is now terrified.

Odds: 1/10

Sarah, 26, grade school teacher, Newport Beach, CA

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Performance This Week: Sarah is on the farm date, and for the first time ever shows any emotion other than bubbly. She starts the intervention by asking Corinne if she thinks she’s actually ready to marry 36-year-old man, to which Corinne flounders and leaves. Finally Sarah shows some backbone.

Odds: 1/600

Taylor, 23, mental health counselor, Seattle, WA

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Performance This Week: Taylor went on the farm group date, but spent most of the episode in a epic war against Corinne. Then she rides this confrontational attitude right into Danielle L.’s time with Nick, and instead of Danielle leaving, the three of them sat together and the camera panned to Corinne eating like a monster. Then, Corinne retaliates and the two of them sit on a bench and yell at each other. There was a disappointing amount of physical altercating.

Odds: 1/400

Vanessa, 29, special education teacher, Montreal, Quebec, Canada

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Performance This Week: Vanessa confronts Nick about the bouncy castle, and he kind of apologizes, but kind of tells her to “just chill out.” He takes her on the wretched farm date, where Vanessa takes charge in trying to explain to Corinne why she is insane, which of course doesn’t work. She is fighting a battle that she will clearly never win. Luckily, Nick is still really into her.

Odds: 1/6

Whitney, 25, Pilates instructor, Chanhassen, MN

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Performance This Week: Whitney went of the farm date and I have really no idea how she’s still here.

Odds: 1/900,000

Eliminated This Week

Brittany, 26, travel nurse, Santa Monica, CA

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Performance This Week: She had been riding on that Eve photoshoot for too long.

Reasons For Elimination: She was overstaying her welcome.

Christen, 25, wedding videographer, Tulsa, OK

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Performance This Week: Christen left the rose ceremony and merely shot Nick a death glare before leaving, just like everyone else should instead of fucking thanking him.

Reason For Elimination: She didn’t have time for this bullshit.

Fill up your wine glasses, fill out your brackets, and see you all next week.

Images via ABC, florianheger

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Ali Hin

A born and raised Jersey girl, she can always be found covered in sand and pizza sauce. Her personal brand is "that girl." She prefers wine in bottles because she thinks outside of the box. Send fan mail to sratbroTSM@gmail.com or by smoke signal.

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