The Backup Bro

It’s common knowledge that every single one of us sorority gals is pining for the attention of some beer-guzzling douchebag who wears a backwards visor and barely gives us the time of day. However, there exists a lesser-known but equally common unexplainable phenomenon. I like to call him the “Backup Bro.”

The backup bro is the one who yearns for the attention of the sorostitute. There’s nothing actually wrong with this guy. He’s cute, nice, and chivalrous…almost perfect on paper, but there’s always just one little thing that’s off. He might have a beer gut. He might be an education major. Maybe he’s even a GDI. Regardless, he worships the ground you walk on. He’s the guy you should be with, but the typical reaction of receiving a text from the BB is “UGH! He texted me again. He’s so desperate. Like…I told him I was REALLY busy studying and I would text him when I finished! Like, leave me alone!”

The backup bro is one you have probably shared a bed with several times sans penetration. Often, he’s the one who takes you home from the bar, gives you a glass of water with two aspirin, and strokes your hair as you fall asleep (the sweet kind of creepy). He drives to your apartment in the pouring rain to make you chicken soup when you’re sick. He loves you and you know it, but you sadly don’t give a shit.

The difference between the BB and the TFB (typical frat bro)? Your pretty little heart skips a beat every time you get a text from the TFB during daylight hours. He’ll never take you out to dinner or bring you home to meet his mother, but he’s damn good at pretending he will. He might be a huge ball of sleaze that sleeps with other (less hot) girls right under your nose, but when you’re with him (most often between the hours of 1:00am and 11:00am), you’re his darling, his sweetheart, his only one. He quite literally has the ability to charm your pants off. You always think he is just about to change, and then he disappoints you yet again, allowing the BB come to the rescue.

We always want what we can’t have, and the TFB is exactly that. But ladies, it’s time to STOP CHASING! Winter is often dubbed relationship season, which may or may not mean it’s time to give the BB an actual chance before it’s too late. Because eventually the backup bro WILL get tired of being your…well, your backup.

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