Let’s start with something we all know to be true: everyone is a little weird, girl or guy. This is not rocket science. A lot of us will only have to deal with the craziness of one sex throughout our adult lives, and those people are lucky, but I am not one of those people. As someone who’s dated, slept with, married (just kidding), members of both sexes, I’m qualified to break down what the real differences are between dating guys and dating girls. (Well, I can give you my opinion, at least.) If they gave out Ph.D’s for this shit, I’m pretty sure I would be a doctor by now.
Sex is probably going to be the most obvious category. What happens when you’re getting naked with a guy as opposed to with a girl? The biggest difference, IMO, isn’t the fact that with one you get a p and with the other you get a v. There’s a myth that girls can’t be as aggressive as guys in bed, and that’s totally untrue. I’ve been with girls who liked it rough and hard and with guys who wanted to snuggle and gently stroke my hair. The truth, however, is that girls are definitely more sensual than guys. Sex with girls, as a girl, is more equal. Attention gets divided pretty much evenly, and the fact that there’s less of a difference in literal body mass tends to even the playing field.
Also, girls know what girls like. There’s less fumbling and more oral, to put it simply. There can also be more room for experimentation, and toys, because there’s no immediate penetration device in the mix besides fingers and tongues unless you get creative, which you should. Guys, however, are super easily turned on and require less effort to please. You can have lazy sex and just lie there every once in a while and get away with it, and they’re really turned on by the female body in general. Just telling a guy you’re getting in the shower is typically enough to get him going. And, with a guy, you’re the only one with boobs, so you get to be more special. Always a plus.
In terms of the earlier processes of dating, guys are simpler than girls. If they like you, they’ll call you. It’s just not that complicated, and that in itself is refreshing. If a guy isn’t calling you, or texting you, or Snapchatting you, he’s not into it. I don’t know why girls tell themselves it’s because he lost their number, or has been busy, or whatever; those are all possibilities in the short-term, but guys tend to go for what they like. So if it’s been a week and you’re only hearing crickets, chances are he wasn’t super into it. When in doubt, I’d reach out first, and if the conversation still isn’t flowing, cut it. His loss, right?
Girls, on the other hand, sometimes need more encouragement. We’re more likely to pay attention to the nuance of a text and read too much into a long silence on the phone, so it can take a little longer to establish that connection. Once a connection is there, though, it gets deeper faster than with a guy. Something about the double collision of female emotions just makes it seem normal that you’re moving in together after two months. I’ve never done that or anything, I’m just saying. There’s a lot of *feelings,* which can be amazing, but when those feelings turn bad it gets ugly fast. Like real fast. Hell hath no fury like a girl who’s mad at her girlfriend. Trust.
Speaking of fights, there are also big differences in a guy’s emotional baggage versus a girl. A guys’ baggage is almost always an ex-girlfriend who cheated and gave him trust issues. A girl’s baggage, on the other hand, can be literally anything. Whether it’s having been cheated on as well, or just something mean someone said to her one time, girls hold onto that shit. Baggage can be much more varied in that sense and go deeper than being cheated on. Guys are hurt more by the physical reality of having been cheated on, and girls are more hurt by the emotions that they felt during that time. I’m no psychologist or anything, but I think you get the point.
On a more superficial note, guys are often confused by things like female clothing. I’ve had guys hold up my shirts or dresses, maybe with a crisscross back or something, and be utterly perplexed. Same deal with makeup, and underwear, and hair. Guys know that they like the way that lacy lingerie looks on you, but getting it off of you is like solving a physics equation. I don’t blame them, though, honestly. Lingerie can be fucking confusing, especially when all a guy wants is for you to be naked anyway.
All in all, I will say that there are variances across the board when it comes to both sexes. The differences in dating girls and dating guys can’t be summed up neatly. I could probably write an entire book on the subject. Everyone is different, and God knows dating is its own pool of confusion. Whatever your preference, good luck. It’s a jungle out there, but hopefully the experience in itself is worth it. And if not, maybe take a chance at batting for the other team. Don’t knock it ‘til you try it, right?.
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Shannon Layne
My favorite things are tiaras, compliments, and free drinks, which are becoming harder to come by the more I tend to show up at the bar in sweat pants. The proudest moment of my life so far has been landing an actual, paying job that allows me to Facebook stalk people for a living. I tweet about my mom way too often, who is constantly trying to remind me that I'm not nearly as cool as I think I am. Please send me funny stories to read at work here: [email protected]
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