The Dos And Don’ts Of Being A Good Wingwoman

Recently, we learned about a service that allows you to hire a wingwoman to take out to bars with you to help you meet guys. While it’s an interesting idea, all we could think was, “Can’t we just do this for each other without having to hire fake friends to do it for us?” In that spirit, here are some tips we can all use to be a better wingwoman.

Do be her cheerleader.
One of the main roles of a wingwoman is to be your friend’s cheerleader. If she was confident enough to go up and talk to guys on her own, she wouldn’t need a wingwoman, would she? Your number one job when helping her pick up dudes is to give her the pep talk she needs to be self-assured. When it comes time to actually converse with guys, she’ll feel as awesome as you know she is.

Don’t be into the same guys she likes.
You two are probably friends because you have similar tastes, but when you’re her wingwoman, it’s important that you aren’t going after the same guys she is into. Nothing can crush a girl’s confidence more than when a dude she’s interested in is more into her friend. So even if he normally would be your type, when you are her wingwoman, he’s not.

Do push her out of her comfort zone.
If your friend was comfortable picking up guys, odds are, she wouldn’t need a wingwoman. Part of your job is to push her out of her comfort zone. Don’t push her so far that she’s totally out of her element, but encourage her try new things: go to new places, talk to different types of people. This can open up her horizons and make the playing field that much larger when it comes to the dating game.

Don’t let her drink TOO much — or drink too much yourself.
There’s a difference between having a good time and being a big ol’ hot mess, and the latter just isn’t attractive. While it’s totally fine for your friend to knock back a few to soothe her nerves, letting her get plastered isn’t going to help in her man hunt. She won’t enjoy having to hold your hair back while you puke in the bar bathroom, either, so how about both of you use some moderation for this evening, okay?

Do talk her up to the dude she’s interested in.
As the wingwoman, it’s your job to casually bring up all the things that are great and interesting about your friend. If he mentions he likes sports and she’s the biggest football fan you know, totally say something like, “My friend Jess is really into football, too! I think she’s a Colts fan. Hold on, let me grab her!” But don’t lie, and…

Don’t be super obvious.
There’s a fine line between casually talking up your friend and flagrantly trying to sell a guy on her. Trying too hard seems desperate, and desperation is never attractive. Talk her up, but keep it low-key. Don’t become her mother trying to convince some single guy how great her daughter is.

Do take one for the team.
If the dude your friend is interested in has a friend with him, it’s your wingwoman duty to talk to him so his friend is open to talk to your friend. Sometimes this can be an easy task if he’s hot, a good conversationalist, or both. But sometimes he’s hideous with no social skills and a lisp that causes him to spit, and it sucks. But, as the wingwoman, it’s your duty to take one for the team.

Don’t overtake the conversation.News Featured
Usually if you are the wingwoman, you are the more confident one of you and your friend. As such, it may seem natural for you to take charge of the conversation. While that’s okay to start off, at some point you need to tone it down and just serve as a conversation starter when there’s a lull.

Do know when to step out.
If the conversation is going well, that’s your cue. It’s time to step away and let them talk one-on-one. If he has a friend with him, this is the time you ask that guy to dance or go with you to the bar to get a drink. If not, you’re free to start your own man hunt, but be sure to keep an eye on the situation.

Don’t leave her hanging.
As valuable as knowing when it’s time to step away, knowing when you have to step back in is doubly important. You never want to move too far away from the situation or leave the bar completely. As the wingwoman, you never know when you may need to step back in to get the conversation going again or to get her out of the situation if it turned weird. Dating is similar to war, and we need to follow the military motto of “never leave a man behind.”

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Jenna Crowley

Jenna used to be known as 2NOTBrokeGirls, but then one of the girls actually went broke, so she's struck out on her own. Jenna spends her free time saving the world, one sorority girl at a time (usually while wearing yoga pants), questioning why she decided to get a doctorate, and documenting her love of all things cheese related. You can ask her anything you want about football, using your boobs to get what you want, and pizza at @JennaLCrowley on Twitter or via email at

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