The Elusive G-Spot Doesn’t Actually Exist, But THIS Does, And Scientists Believe It’ll Give You The Greatest Orgasm Ever

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Since the 1950s, women (and men) everywhere have been on a hunt for the ever elusive G-spot. Seriously, where the eff is it? We grabbed our compacts and flashlights. We pressed. We poked. We searched in books and encyclopedias and porn sites, alike. This person claims it exists. This doctor says he’s seen it. This lady says she found hers! So, what’s wrong with me then? We all thought. If she can do it, why can’t I? 

Well. I’ll tell you why. Because she was full of shit. And, frankly, so were all of those doctors. Because, drumroll please, the G-spot doesn’t actually exist. Isn’t real. Completely made up. Invented purely to make women feel like shit (which is stupid, because we already have supermodels and cupcakes and wrinkles and a pay gap for that). Really though, the whole thing is apparently a complete load of shit — not cum, as was previously promised. Researchers now claim that the very thing that brings women to scream some very ungodly things to the man upstairs is actually not a “thing” at all. But rather, a LOT of things, specifically the clitoris, urethra, and front vaginal wall (CUV) which, when properly stimulated, will create an orgasmic feeling.

As stated in “Nature Reviews Urology,” scientist Emmanuele A. Jannini (who oversaw the study) further elaborates that:

“We know [thanks to this review] there is a much more complex than a simple, phantasmagoric ‘point.'”

And that after 50 years of unanswered questions, a lack of scientific evidence, and millions (billions?) of frustrated women, he hopes that both genders will finally give up hope of finding the G-spot. Because, you know, it’s not real.

Instead, we now have this CUV area. Meaning that rather that focusing on finding one small area (again, that we now know isn’t even real), women and their partners should now simply relax and love on (literally) the entire below the belt region. Basically, stop stressing the fuck out over your G-spot and just enjoy what’s happening down there. Good things happen to those who don’t shove a compact up their hoo-ha in an effort to find a supposed patch of skin that’s both impossible to see and feel. And if that big O is still escaping you, there’s now even a solution for that.

Stem cell researcher and endocrinologist, Dr. Samuel Wood, created the “O-Shot,” something he claims will boost both a woman’s sex drive and satisfaction. Holla. The procedure involves drawing blood from the patient and then separating platelets. Then, the platelets are injected into the woman’s genital region, primarily in the clitoris and vaginal wall area. See? There’s that CUV again. Following the injection in the, say it with me: CUV, the cells will begin to grow and spread, which provides the woman with a much more stimulable genital region. Fucking science, man. It’s the tits. Or, rather, the clitoris.

[via Daily Mail]

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Catie Warren

From Rush To Rehab (@catie__warren) is a semi-fuctioning adult who has been celebrating her 21st birthday for the past three years. She attended college in the nation’s capital and to this day is angry that Pit Bull lied to her, as you cannot, in fact, party on The White House lawn. Prior to her success with TSM, Rehab was most famous for being featured in her hometown newspaper regarding her 5th grade Science Fair Project for which she did not place. In her spare time, she enjoys attributing famous historical quotes to Marilyn Monroe and getting in fights with thirteen year olds on twitter. Email:

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