Freshman year is one of those few times in your life where it is socially acceptable to suspend time, responsibility, and any traces of common sense you have in yourself in the pursuit of partying, consuming exorbitant amounts of alcohol (then realizing you have overestimated how exorbitant an amount of alcohol you can consume), and kissing boys. Like, lots and lots of boys. Everyone is new to each other, reputations haven’t been established yet, and this might be the first time in your life that guys are giving you the attention you’ve always deserved but never imagined — and it goes to your head just a little too much. Still, when it comes to kissing a few guys in the pursuit of having a good time, there’s usually a common theme amongst us newcomers.
The Too Good To Be True
He’s the one that reaffirms your faith in yourself as a wanton sex goddess, because if you can kiss this guy, you can kiss anyone. He reminds you a little bit of your high school crush or your favorite Hollywood actor responsible for your sexual awakening. In other words, he’s really hot. He’s the one whose profile on Instagram and Facebook you’ve obsessively scrolled through, and you’re not ashamed of all of the screenshots of him you have on your phone, because when someone mentions his name, you are at least prepared to whip out your phone and say, “Oh, him? I made out with him (insert date/time/place).” He’s kind of like your trophy kiss, now that you think about it. Sure, you may have never talked to him ever since that fateful night, and he pretends you don’t exist on the chance encounters you have with him in public on campus, but all of the satisfaction is just in knowing that you got to put your face on his.
The One That Got Away
The night you kissed him was easily one of the best nights of your freshman year, the one you gushed about the next morning to your closest friends. Not only was there an actual build-up, but you were also certain that you both liked each other. This wasn’t some rando — he actually meant something to you. He was your first guy friend from orientation week, that upperclassmen you started talking to since you met him at his frat party. That guy who made you think, “Well, shit, I like him.” Which is why it’s so bittersweet to think about now, because things sort of unraveled afterward, and now you just kind of acknowledge each other in public with a small smile or a slight head nod. You wish things could have worked out better, but even if circumstances aren’t so ideal, you’ll be a better person for going through it. And at the very least, you’ll always have fond memories from that night to look back on.
The One Everyone Else Has Already Kissed
You and your friends sit down to brunch the morning after, and before you can even finish your sentence, “So, you’ll never guess who I kissed last…” They all cut you off with an “Oh, we know.” As it turns out, this guy has hooked up with not only two-thirds of your friend group, but also the girl who sits next to you in your 9 a.m. class who you’re friendly with, the girl in your hall you say hi to whenever you see her in the bathroom. You name her, he kissed her. And let’s be honest, you probably already knew this when you were kissing him, but you don’t even care because you knew it was going to happen at some point anyway. Think of it like you joined a secret club! Only it’s a not so secret club with a disturbingly high number of members, but a club nonetheless.
The One You See All The Time Ever Since It Happened
THIS KID IS EVERYWHERE. You’re not sure if he’s following you, or if divine intervention has decided to curse your next three years here, but whatever it is, you see him all the time. Whether you duck into the dining hall and make uncomfortable eye contact as you walk by his frat’s table, take a seat in the library only to realize that he’s sitting with his back turned to you two chairs away, or it’s 11 at night and you’re just trying to get back to your dorm after a long day and see him walking in the opposite direction RIGHT TOWARDS YOU, you’re starting to wonder if you’re SUPPOSED to be seeing this guy all the time. If it was just a one-time thing or things have ended, this will probably just be a nuisance to you. But if things are still continuing/left unresolved, prepare yourself for the sexual tension that you’re about to be thrown into.
The One You Pretend Never Happened
We don’t talk about this one. Ever. You start to scream and cover your ears with your hands any time one of your friends bring it up, presumably to provoke you. No, just no. Blame it on the alcohol or just your raging hormones, but you had no idea what the fuck was going on in your head that night that convinced you that kissing this guy was a good idea. You physically cringe every time you imagine his lips on yours (or tongue down your throat).
But freshman year is all about making mistakes and learning from them, so freshmen ladies, just hold your head high and move on. Just, don’t look back, okay? Whatever you do, for the love of God, don’t look back..
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