The (Grand) Big/Little Phenomenon

The time between Bid Day and Big/Little Revelation is short; something like three or four weeks usually. It’s amazing that in such a short time you’re supposed to find someone with whom you have a connection so special that you are to cherish it above all other relationships and for all eternity. It takes me longer than three-to-four weeks to find that kind of connection with a formal dress. Many people are fortunate and find their little at first sight, and go on to live happily ever after. Many more people end up with a little they like just fine but are never quite obsessed with in the way they pretend to be. No one ever talks about it. You’re supposed to be OBSESSED, and when you’re not you only say so privately. It’s whatever. Still there is an even more taboo type of big/little relationship: the pair that really doesn’t even care about one another or even worse doesn’t like one another much at all. Eek. Saying something like this out loud seems absolutely perverse like incest or blue eye shadow, but the fact remains, it is MUCH more common than you think.

Don’t feel bad if this is you, it happens, and it sucks, but you’re not alone, and there IS a solution. Look to your G – and then look around and notice how many other girls in your chapter have looked to their G. Whether it’s because the girl who connects you is one of the weirdos who slipped through the cracks, or really not into the sorority and super absent from the scene, or you two are just a really horrible match, it happens and the way to fulfill that need for the big/little connection is to find it…with your g-big/little. You’ll probably start by taking pictures with just one another because your connecter is never there. Then you’ll start pre-gaming together…lunch dates…coffee, life advice, until you eventually have that drunken conversation “Why can’t you just be my big/little? Why can’t we just drop the ‘grand’?” You can’t, because it’s rude, but the two of you will know that your connection is special. And everyone else will notice too. People will see how close you two are and start assuming asking if you’re big/little. It will be awkward. You have to say no when you SO badly want to say yes and everyone gives you that look like “wait that’s your big/little?!?!?!” and you’re just like “yeah, I know. But really this is. Basically.” When you go up to boys and give the “this is my little” speech he doesn’t care about, it’s even longer because you say “this is my little. I mean, technically she’s my grand-little, but technically technically she’s my little, but also technically my little. It’s complicated.” But it’s not that complicated. She’s not your blood little, but she’s the little of your soul. But like actually, though. And the reason you two both got stuck with the awkward in betweeny is because the real connection didn’t come through Recruitment the right year. Sure you have to deal with the awkward facebook “hey! what about me!” comments, but just ignore them and know that you still found the girl who made your sorority everything you wanted it to be. Besides, if she would have maybe shown up to a few events rather than combing out her boyfriend’s chest hairs or playing Alien Space Invaders 3 with her bottom-tier roommates, she might not have been in this predicament in the first place.

So to all the girls who love their grand-big/little more than their actual big/little, just look around, realize that you’re not alone, and that “Geeeee!” is a cuter nickname anyway.


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Veronica Ruckh

Veronica (@VeronicaRuckh) is the Director of Total Sorority Move for Grandex, Inc. After having spent her undergraduate years drinking $4 double LITs on a patio and drunk texting away potential suitors, she managed to graduate with an impressive GPA and an unimpressive engagement ring -- so unimpressive, in fact, some might say it's not there at all. Veronica has since been fulfilling her duties as "America's big," a title she gave to herself with the help of her giant ego. She has recently switched from vodka to wine on weekdays. Email her at

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