In a recent study by DrEd 2,121 people including 1,148 men and 973 women ages 18 and older were polled throughout Europe and the United States on penis size, everyone’s favorite topic.
This ended up being really similar to a bunch of penis facts I compiled recently, but, we can always use more dick in our lives, so I figured I’d bless you with this information anyway. Don’t worry, it’s all in graphs to make it easier.
I know, I know. What the fuck is a centimeter? Women perceived the average penis length to be 5.5 inches, but they wished it was 6.3 inches. Men, of course, thought the average penis size was larger — 5.6 inches, but wished it was larger still — 6.6 inches. So we all want what we can’t have. These numbers varied slightly by country.
I’ll do some of this math for you, but for your own knowledge, multiply by .4 to determine inches. What we’re learning is that Polish people are thinking the average is 6.3 inches compared to the US’s 5.7 inches, yet they proportionally wish the average were larger — 6.9 inches, compared with the US 6.8 inch wish. And the UK sounds like a sad, sad place, with the average penis size perception being only 4.96 inches, and the dream peen ringing in at 5.68. No wonder we fucking left.
This of course breaks down further in our own homeland by state, because a state in the US is practically the same thing as a country in Europe.
I’m not quite sure how there could be “insufficient data,” so I’m taking this to mean there are no dicks in the Dakotas, and everyone in Alaska is too damn cold to ever take their clothes off. We see that within our own country there is a large discrepancy between the largest perceived penis size and the smallest, with Maine averaging at 6.6 inches and West Virginia with a sad 5.1. What West Virginians don’t have in smarts, they also don’t have in dicks, it seems. Just kidding, I’m sure there are some very smart West Virginians. I just haven’t met any.
When it comes to ~needs,~ it seems Maine is just full of some greedy ass fuckers. Well, not ass fuckers. Or maybe, I don’t know their business. In any case, the preferred penis size in Maine is 7.7 inches! It’s funny, because that doesn’t sound so off base until you read all this data and realize you’ve just been lucky your whole life. No one is satisfied with the 5-inch peens in WV, though. New Mexico is the most penis-tolerant state, and they prefer a 6.08 inch D.
But this is more than just a fun game of judgment boys and girls. So the study, uhh, broke it down by boys and girls to see how important this was.
So we see here, that 11.2% of women said penis size was very important, 67.4% of women were afraid their boyfriends would learn their answers, and 21.4% of women are virgins and liars.
And what did boys think?
Even though that “very dissatisfied” category is just a number, I still empathized with them. It’s not always good to be in the 1% you know? I will break this down into categories that are relevant to your life. 1.7% of the male population is damaged goods — run away, because no amount of love and support can ever make up for the internal emotional issues we have here. 10.3% of the population will get jealous often, and will slut shame you because you’ve seen another dick (re: a dick bigger than his) — it can work with this guy, but you will fight. 29.5% of the male population is marriage material. 44.5% of the population are the types of guys you go after — this is the fuckboy sector. They are hot and passionate, but they kind of know it, which is simultaneously sexy and infuriating. 14% of the population is a group of sociopaths who will 100% cheat on you — don’t bother.
To read more about this study (like the science and methodology) check out DrEd for more information..
Image via Shutterstock
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Veronica Ruckh
Veronica (@VeronicaRuckh) is the Director of Total Sorority Move for Grandex, Inc. After having spent her undergraduate years drinking $4 double LITs on a patio and drunk texting away potential suitors, she managed to graduate with an impressive GPA and an unimpressive engagement ring -- so unimpressive, in fact, some might say it's not there at all. Veronica has since been fulfilling her duties as "America's big," a title she gave to herself with the help of her giant ego. She has recently switched from vodka to wine on weekdays. Email her at veronica@grandex.co
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