The semester is over and graduation has finally made a grand entrance. Graduation is a time of reflecting on all of the things you should have accomplished, all of the B’s you made, all of the dicks you’ve come face-to-face with, all of the sorority/fraternity events you blacked out at, and so on. It truly is a day worth celebrating. And dammit, you’re going to celebrate even if it isn’t “your” day. So what if you still have over a year left? You know people walking across the stage. And if it is you who will be earning that fancy-ass piece of paper with your name plastered on it, you will need to drown your body with sin all day long in order to officially wrap up your college experience. So now I present you with a drinking game to make “your” special day extra fab. Just make sure to keep a flask and water bottle filled with your choice of firewater by your side at all times so you won’t get thrown out of the ceremony.
Take a shot…
- Immediately after the graduation ceremony is over.
- Every time someone asks what your major is.
- And then again when they ask what you want to do with your degree.
- When your ex crosses the stage.
- The moment you realize you don’t have a fucking clue what your next step in life is.
Take a sip…
- Any time someone refers to you as “Graduate.”
- Whenever people throw up the school sign.
- Any time someone congratulates you.
- Every time somebody asks for a picture with you.
- Every time one of your friends crosses the stage.
- When you feel bad that they can’t cheers with you on stage.
- Any time someone does some kind of dance or shows off their degree as they walk across the stage.
- Every time you meet someone else’s family members and have to pretend you never saw their “graduate” (drink) swinging from a chandelier.
- When someone asks when you graduate.
- And then again when they say, “You’re almost there!”
- And one more time when they ask if you’re ready to graduate.
- Any time you have to put up with the girl you despise that your friend invited.
- Whenever somebody hugs you.
- The second you see a professor you are obsessed with.
- And again when you see a professor you wish would get fired.
- When you are feeling way too overwhelmed.
- Any time somebody asks to see your degree.
Chug…
- While the school song plays, whether at the ceremony or at the bar.
- As people are trying to figure out the plan for the rest of the day/that night.
- While you try to make sense of what someone’s grad cap says.
- For as long as the strangers next to you cheer for their people.
- And again when the people you are with cheer for people you don’t know.
Regardless of if it is you, your big, your fuck buddy, etc. who is graduating, the entire day should be one hell of a party. There’s no better time to celebrate your own or somebody else’s accomplishments quite like graduation..
Nice Move145
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Kellie Stritz
Kellie, spelled with an "ie," practically resides at Starbucks even though they have yet to spell her name correctly. She's obsessed with the color pink, Elle Woods, and Bitmoji's. Her biggest accomplishment is breaking the record within her sorority for how many standards hearings she has had without getting kicked out. She spends her free time trying to stay tan (i.e. sunburnt) and stalking people on social media.
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