The Ones You Forget About
Ritual
We get it. The people who started the chapter used to love to wear robes and talk is hushed tones. That’s great. And everyone lowkwy respects that. But when it takes away from happy hour or some fraternity party? Yeah. That shit is annoying. Your job is to somehow make speaking in “Ye Old English” sound cool, while convincing us that this ceremony is meaningful. You know, the ceremony where we hold a flower and sing some loosely rhymed song about life, which you know the founders wrote when they were drunk. Lucky bitches. You get to shine like, twice a year, and we hate you both of those times. It a pretty whatever position, but someone’s gotta do it. Otherwise who would be in charge of acting like ritual is important? No one. And honestly? We probably wouldn’t care. But hey, thank goodness we have you, right?
Alumni
Is there anything worse than dealing with depressed seniors, party-like-we’re-freshman seniors, and the overly-optimistic seniors? Yes. Dealing with the seniors who graduated long ago, and come back to the chapter just to snoop, talk about how it’s gone downhill, and eat all of your food. The alumni chair has one of two jobs (or if you’re really unlucky, both). You either have to help the senior sisters “transition” into being adults (LOL) or you have to reach out to alumni members in the community. I have no idea why. Sisterhood? PR? Anyways, your job is taking some of the worst people, bringing them together, and “bonding.” If that wasn’t bad, that fact that most people forget that your job exists and that you’re actually on exec should do it. Cheers to sisterhood being for life, amiright?
Philanthropy
There are three reasons why you’re philanthropy chair. You either actually want to help people. You wanted a position that made you look good. Or you figured that you wouldn’t get anything else. Most likely it was the last one. Much like the event chair, philanthropy planning involves a lot of work, but unlike event chair, no one remotely appreciates you for it. You have to put tons of hours into planning and calculating finances, getting approval and getting people to show up. But there’s no alcohol. No drunken boys. No bad decisions to be made. Just a 7 a.m. wake up call, threatening Facebook posts telling girls to attend other chapter’s charity events, and trying to think of a clever idea that will make the school, your chapter, and nationals happy while also raising a shitton of money for sick wildlife or whatever. Sounds fun. Not. Despite all that, few positions look better post-grad, so at least it’ll count for something.
Secretary
You take the notes on the chapter meetings and uh, what else do you do? File things? Organize stuff? Honestly, you just wanted to be on exec. That’s it. You didn’t want to work that hard, and you wanted an excuse to be on your laptop during meetings. Are you listening or are you on Facebook? That’s for you to know, and the rest of the chapter to be somewhat jealous about. Sure, it’s not a position people want, but hey. It’s a position. That’s good enough for getting out of standards meetings and having something to put on your resume, and at the end of it all, isn’t that what really matters?
Finance
The worst of the worst, le finance chair. There are two people who want to be in charge of the chapter’s finance. Future accountants, and someone who hates happiness. Which is pretty much the same thing as an account, right? (Jk Jk future accounts who are offended right now) The job of the finance chair is to distribute funds, get checks, give checks, put people on financial probations, and yell at everyone to pay their dues. Yawn. Is there a shred of enjoyment out of it? Not really. Unless you like looking at numbers and losing friends. In that case, step right up! That being said, the finance chair is pretty much the main position that translates into an awesome-ass career. But still, at what cost? (get it? Because of finance)
Congrats to the 2016 Executive Boards. Heaven help you..
Image via Youtube
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Rachel Varina
(yeahokaywhat) Aspiring to be the next Tina Fey, Rachel spends her free time doing nothing to reach that goal. While judging people based on how they use "they're" vs. "there" on social media, she likes eating buffalo chicken dip, watching other people's Netflix, and wearing sweatpants way more than is socially acceptable.
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