The Only Reason I Want To Be On The Bachelor Is To Get The Makeover That Comes With It

The Bachelor

You have to be beautiful to be on television. You have to be beautiful to be on television trying to find love with a (most of the time) eligible, heartthrob bachelor. But I’ve come to notice that when some of The Bachelor’s most famous faces leave the show, they change. Their faces, legitimately change. And since I don’t believe you can find love on television, or anywhere else for that matter, I decided I’d like to try out for The Bachelor for the sole purpose of getting the makeover that comes with it. Add in some tacky Instagram endorsements to make easy money. You’re walking out of the show single, hot, and making money. Nick, who?

Alexis Waters

#TheBooHooStoreLa 💕

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Hey it's me lex

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Our beloved shark/dolphin girl. What’s not to love about Alexis? She’s your girls’ girl. Your best friend. But no one can deny the significant changes that we’ve seen Alexis go through since the show ended and she started washing her face on Instagram for money. Besides the very noticeable eyelash extensions that look a little bit like fierce caterpillars, we can see a tighter face that can result from a powerful contour, some weight loss, or botox. Oh, and she definitely upgraded her phone.

Kristina Schulman

It's @kbrew1234 birthday!! I can see a fun night ahead 😘 🙊🙈🙉 #happybirthdaybeautiful

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I can see the weekend from here 🌴see you soon Nashville! What are your plans?! 🖤

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Kristina has always been the cutest little button in The Bachelor franchise, and a crowd favorite for dodging fuckboys. A once, hot girl next door, is now mega hot girl next door. We can’t help but to notice that Kristina added some sex appeal once getting off the show. Is that to prove to Deanie Babies that she is, in fact, just as hot of a lay as DLo? Kristina’s changes? Her hair, obviously. And she also has a nice little eyebrow-eyelash upgrade. Hers look a lot better, tbh.

Danielle Maltby

When you're friends come out to play 😘⚾️ #nashvillesounds

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It was a day of epic, musical talents 🌻 @pilgrimagefestival #makethepilgrimage

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Again, what’s not to love about Danielle? Seemingly the one least interested in all kinds of plastic surgery, has admittedly gotten a boob job since the show ended. Danielle’s face looks exactly the same, it’s her chest that gets a little more attention these days. But in my opinion, not enough. She got those things and doesn’t flaunt them. She is a better woman than I.

Vanessa Grimaldi

From Ottawa to Montreal ❤️👯

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When we first saw Vanessa, she was pulling some major old school Jenny from the Block vibes. Today, her hair is lighter and longer and she’s really put that Bombay curling iron to good use. Where would I be without the hair tutorials? Anything to distract herself from the fact that she got engaged to someone she literally hated, I guess. But at least she’ll have good hair days for the rest of her life.

Rachel Lindsay

Older? Wiser? Finally engaged? Rachel looks like she figured out how to contour and although she didn’t get rid of the signature gap completely, it is a little more tamed. So since she knows the art of a good highlight, Rachel, if you’re reading this, can you help a girl out?

The Bachelor glo-up is real my friends. So while *most* of these ladies didn’t find love on the show, they did find a hell of a lot more Instagram likes and stupid ways to make money. I’ll take a makeover over a man any day of the week.

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