I had a recent conversation with a friend who told the story of how she and her boyfriend met. I was pretending to care and not be super jealous of her for her sickeningly adorable, attentive boyfriend when she suddenly enraged me by mentioning that the two met while he was still involved in his ex girlfriend. I was absolutely floored. I was associating with someone who was once THE OTHER GIRL? Disgusting. After apprehending her about her loose morals, she countered my argument by saying that he and his girlfriend were already “practically” broken up when they met, and that meeting my friend was his final reason to end things completely
I’m just going to come out and say it: any girl who actually believes this if a guy tells her this is beyond stupid. First of all, it’s super trashy to even knowingly get involved with a guy who has a girlfriend. When you’re the “other girl,” you’re essentially accepting the fact that he likes hooking up with you, but doesn’t respect you enough to ever introduce you to his family, or his friends, or treat you with any of the respect afforded to girls who are actually girlfriends and not just girls he sees when he wants a hand job. Second of all, if a guy is willing to cheat with you, it means he’s willing to cheat on you, which led me to my next question: “aren’t you ever worried that once you two start having problems, he’ll get bored and do the same thing to you that he did to his ex?” She replied with some stupid rebuttal about how she and her boyfriend are so much better for each other than he and his ex were, and began naming qualities the ex girlfriend supposedly had that rendered her the worst girlfriend in the world. Red flag #2: if a guy is willing to trash his ex in front of you, he’s definitely going to do the same thing once you two break up. I know that it’s required to bring up the negatives about your ex when you’re trying to get over him, but you don’t spend hours talking about him to another guy, do you? Not unless you’re trying to run off any potential suitors.
Everybody (rightfully) disapproves of celebrities who sleep with married men, such as Skeletor/Angelina Jolie, or Helen Keller/Kristen Stewart, but nobody publicly acknowledges that girls who pursue guys who are in committed, non-married relationships are just as bad.
We’ve all dealt with the girl who is crushing on a guy in her class, and after some basic Facebook stalking, learns he has a girlfriend, and says, “oh, well, that doesn’t matter,” as if she’ll be accomplishing something by causing the boy to break up with his girlfriend for her. Newsflash: you don’t “win” anything when you compete for someone’s affections, because there should never be a competition. Every girl deserves a relationship with a guy who makes her his number one priority. If anything, guys should be competing for YOUR affections, not the other way around.
Even worse than the girl who views a current relationship as a challenge she can conquer is the girl who continually hooks up with a guy even though he has a girlfriend. Maybe it’s a long distance scenario, or maybe it’s not, but either way it is completely wrong. As I previously stated, doing so blatantly tells the guy that you don’t even think of yourself to be good enough for a relationship, which obviously means that nobody else will consider you worthy relationship material. Also, what is so great about knowing that you are exclusively and permanently JUST a hook up to someone? I know we can pretend that we don’t want anything serious and that we’re not looking for commitment, but deep down, that’s a huge lie we tell ourselves to believe that we’re in control of a situation.
The only solid foundation for a good relationship is honesty…and starting one while you’re in another is the most dishonest method of dating. Essentially, you’re accepting the fact that your new guy is basically just afraid to be alone, and won’t get out of one relationship until he’s positive he has another to run to. Do you know what that means? He’s clingy, he’s a cheater, and he cannot be trusted. Don’t be THAT girl who believes you’re special, because trust me…you’re not.
Nice Move292
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