There are certain rules of girl code that I feel should be engraved in stone. Thou shall never date or hook up with another girlfriend’s ex, unless she gives expressed permission. Thou shall always be honest when another girl says, “How do I look?” Thou shall do everything in thy power to retrieve a tampon for a girl in the stall next to you in need. But to me, one rule has always made me question the laws of sisterhood: the rule of dibs.
Sure, I call dibs on lots of things. I’ll call dibs on shotgun, the last piece of cheesecake in the fridge, and the last Plan B at CVS…kidding, I’m on birth control. But those are all inanimate objects, not to mention there’s only one of them left. I don’t understand why calling dibs on a human is acceptable, especially when there are plenty of those to go around.
Calling dibs was initially invented to prevent drama, but in my experience, it only causes it. There are caveats to calling possession on something that can think and act for itself. First, if a girl already had every intention to make a move on the guy, but the thought of calling dibs slipped her mind, she feels cheated by the process. She begrudgingly has to agree to the deal, because of girl code. Or, she can choose to forgo it, and risk fighting with a friend.
Another possible outcome is that the guy is not interested in the friend who claimed him as her territory. Does the rule of dibs still apply? Or does the man have to be completely eschewed due to the fact he has a different taste? Is there an up for grabs policy instated? Because of something as immature as the dibs-rule the possibility that someone gets an opportunity with this suitable candidate goes to waste. That just seems selfish to me. Even if there are outside factors preventing the dibber from acting on it, does that make the guy forever unavailable to both parties? Writing this is giving me a migraine.
This rule doesn’t only apply to girls — it applies to guys too. I don’t want to consider the number of guys I have lost the opportunity of meeting because of a simple dibs rule. Probably none, but I like to be optimistic and think I’m a hot commodity. Still, I think the dibee should be able to make the decision for themselves, not have their fate decided over a split second “called it.”
Sure, a friend will always be more important than a guy at a bar. And if your friend thinks that he may be the Noah to her Allie, let her have that one. But let’s actually consider just how childish the whole rule of dibs is. Let’s be honest with our attraction and our friendships and tell it like it is. .