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The Three Types of Selfies

Three Kinds Of Selfies

Every girl knows that front-view cameras are the greatest things since hot glue guns. Narcissism isn’t a crime, but I firmly believe in some cases it should be. (Secretly, I’m glad it’s semi-socially acceptable, but that’s just between you and me). Few things irritate me more than scrolling through Instagram and seeing selfie after selfie of semi-decent-looking girls claiming to be “bad bitches.” There are three kinds of selfies, and if you have any form of a camera, I have no doubt that you’re guilty of all three.

1. The Mirror Selfie
Without a doubt, the most disgraceful and embarrassing of all the selfies is the mirror pic. Hopefully you turned the flash off to make it a little less awful. You’re probably either trying to show off the outfit you love so much or you’re just plain odd-looking up close. Either way, you’ve managed to revive the rightfully dead “Myspace photo” and you can’t really come back from that. Enjoy your full body shot, but for the love of Lilly, please try to resist sticking your tongue out and avoid the peace sign.

2. The Group Selfie
You’re clearly feeling too good for the solo selfie shot, but you can’t seem to resist the perfect lighting in the room, so you grab your sisters (or whoever’s close enough) and a photo shoot commences. Everyone who sees you is probably judging you, but you don’t care because these are going to be the cutest pictures to look at tomorrow morning while you’re eating Taco Bell, hungover.

3. Full On Selfie
Why these continue to exist, I’ll never know, but every single girl who has just had her hair cut or thinks her makeup looks particularly fantastic that day has shamelessly partaken in this kind of selfie. Hopefully you’ve managed to eliminate the horrid “duck face” from your selfie repertoire, but many have not. I know it’s tempting to complete your self-indulgent picture with a caption that can only be described as “compliment fishing,” but the best bet is to just tease yourself for it. Otherwise, just keep your arrogance to yourself.

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