1. Sorority Row
Because, ya know, we apparently like to spend our Friday nights throwing massive keggers and taking shots upstairs while wearing various scanty PJs and simultaneously insulting each other. In case you were wondering, yes, the rest of this movie is just as bad as the first five minutes. Seeing as how Sorority Row is a terrible movie to begin with, I’m not entirely surprised that their portrayal of Greek women isn’t exactly spot on. Still, it would be nice if we weren’t viewed as hormonal, murderous lunatics. That’s a stretch.
2. 21 & Over
Look, I’m not in a fraternity, and thus have no genuine knowledge of what kind of late night shit happens in that corner basement room they don’t let us explore during parties. And do you know why I don’t know? Because sororities just don’t partake in that kind of thing. I can acknowledge that there are some chapters that probably have some weird traditions, but I’m pretty sure that this doesn’t include stripping male intruders, stuffing a tube sock on their dicks, and paddling the shit out of them. This is not to say that I wouldn’t enjoy spanking Miles Teller, though, because I very much would.
3. Sydney White
As much as I wish it were possible, you are not allowed to just move into a fraternity house when your freshman year get stressful (no matter how bottom-tier that fraternity is). But given Sydney’s stressful freshman year is actually laughably inaccurate, it makes sense that this would be the natural progression of this story. How many times do we have to tell everyone that our older sisters do not wake us up in the middle of the night with the sole intention of humiliating us and forcing us to perform unnecessary tasks? Shame on you for perpetuating the hazing stereotype, Amanda Bynes.
4. American Horror Story: Coven
Okay, it’s not a movie. Still, it begs the question, what kind of fraternity would take a party bus to a someone else’s party? Especially since they only put about ten people in the bus. That seems incredibly unnecessary, especially since every frat has sober freshman drivers to chauffeur them wherever they want to go. Honestly, the party bus is the least of our issues in this episode. The idea that one brother would encourage another to roofie and rape a random girl is one of the dumbest and unfortunately most common stereotypes you can pin on a Greek student.
5. House Bunny
I can’t tell you how many times my house mother encouraged me to show more skin and pretend to be a moron to attract not only potential new members, but also boys. Oh wait, yes I can: ZERO. That’s because your average house mom is an older, respected, educated woman. We don’t get to pick friggin’ playboy bunnies off the street and appoint them as the head of our house. There are rules, dammit.
6. Neighbors
Am I the only one who thinks people would start to get weirded out by the fact that a random, older couple keeps showing up to a college party? Especially if they had a child, and the mother of that child was seen kissing a college student who she spent half the night force-feeding shots. It hurts my soul to speak ill of this movie, because Dave Franco and Zac Efron pretending to be frat guys is obviously a bonerific experience. Even so, the logic behind this scene is ridiculously flawed.
7. Legally Blonde
Believe it or not, we actually have more important things to discuss at chapter than the quality of our toilet paper. We also don’t tend to initiate group aerobic sessions in the dining room, which doesn’t usually consist of a single table for everyone to cram around. I do appreciate the fact that her sisters are helping her in her attempts to get into law school, even if they all come off as complete bimbos. If I ever tried to send a video like this to Harvard, I’d like to think that someone would step in and stop me..
Image via Youtube
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Lucky Jo
Lucky Jo is a former and current TSM writer who likes her men how she likes her coffee: way too hot and unforgivably bitter. She graduated from the University of Missouri in 2016, proving that C's do in fact get degrees. She now spends her days working for a social media marketing agency, hiking with her dachshund, and trying to bring back the scrunchie. Hate mail and goat memes can be sent to lucyjmulvihill@gmail.com.
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