Despite my many jokes and references to the powdery substance, I’ve actually never done cocaine. That stuff scares the shit out of me. Yeah, I guess it’s supposed to make you skinny, and yeah, I guess it’s supposed to make you fun, and yeah, it can kill you. Oh, right. That third reason is why I’ve never done it.
But you know who really loves coke? Joe Biden’s son, Hunter. Well, maybe love is a strong word, but he at least liked it enough to do it…while in the Navy. Idiot.
Per “Market Watch:”
Mr. Biden, 44 years old, decided to pursue military service relatively late, beginning the direct-commission process to become a public-affairs officer in the Navy Reserve in 2012. Because of his age—43 when he was to be commissioned—he needed a waiver to join the Navy. He received a second Navy waiver because of a drug-related incident when he was a young man, according to people familiar with the matter. Military officials say such drug waivers aren’t uncommon.
Mr. Biden was commissioned as an ensign on May 7, 2013, and assigned to Navy Public Affairs Support Element East in Norfolk, Va., a reserve unit, according to the Navy. In June 2013, after reporting to his unit in Norfolk, he was given a drug test, which turned up positive for cocaine, according to people familiar with the situation. Mr. Biden was discharged in February, the Navy said.
He apparently now works at some sort of investment firm where he’s a managing partner, you know, because the guy obviously screams “responsible.” So far, the Vice President has yet to release a statement, but what else can he really say other than “Yeah, he fucked up. But I sure am glad to be talking about something other than Ebola, the economy, ISIS, etc. C’mon now, failing as a father is nothing compared to failing as the Vice President, amirite?” .
[via Market Watch]
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Catie Warren
From Rush To Rehab (@catie__warren) is a semi-fuctioning adult who has been celebrating her 21st birthday for the past three years. She attended college in the nation’s capital and to this day is angry that Pit Bull lied to her, as you cannot, in fact, party on The White House lawn. Prior to her success with TSM, Rehab was most famous for being featured in her hometown newspaper regarding her 5th grade Science Fair Project for which she did not place. In her spare time, she enjoys attributing famous historical quotes to Marilyn Monroe and getting in fights with thirteen year olds on twitter. Email: catie@grandex.co
@catie__warren
@catie__warren
