There’s A Necklace That Tells You When You’re Being A Fatass, And It’s Our Worst Nightmare

Necklace tells you when you're being a fatty

You know what the best thing in the world is? Jewelry. You can buy it anywhere, for literally any price, and it makes you feel like a rockstar. Having a bad day? Throw on some earrings. Boyfriend dumped you? There’s an Alex and Ani bracelet for that. You got a notification that a girl you hate is engaged? Grab a new necklace. Jewelry has always been there to make us feel better. Until now. Because life isn’t fair.

It’s called the WearSens, and it’s a necklace that literally tells you when you’re being a fatass.

It’s official. We actually can’t have nice things. Apparently, you wear this (unattractive) choker around your neck and it sends an alert to your phone when you’re overeating. According to the Daily Mail, it can distinguish between hard and soft food, if you’re eating too much of a certain food, and when you should call it quits because you’re over your calorie limit. It was invented because the old “write down everything you eat, while accidentally (on purpose) forgetting to write down the seven cupcakes you had” thing wasn’t working. So now, people are going to walk around with these robot chokers on their necks to remind them not to pig out. And the worst part is that it’s absurdly accurate.

According to the article:

In tests with a limited menu it has guessed with 90 percent accuracy the difference between solid and liquid foods – and even the difference between hot or cold drinks. It could also distinguish between hard and soft foods about 75 percent of the time.

It’s all really devastating. Gone are the days of saying “mini-muffins don’t count.” So long to thinking that if you “just have a bite,” it won’t add up. Auf Wiedersehen to insisting that calories don’t count on the weekend. Thanks a lot, science. Personally, I’d like to go back to the old way of knowing if you’re overeating — which is when your pants don’t button and you look about nine months pregnant with a food baby. That’s the true American way.

[via Daily Mail]

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Rachel Varina

(yeahokaywhat) Aspiring to be the next Tina Fey, Rachel spends her free time doing nothing to reach that goal. While judging people based on how they use "they're" vs. "there" on social media, she likes eating buffalo chicken dip, watching other people's Netflix, and wearing sweatpants way more than is socially acceptable.

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