If you’re anything like me, you probably have a New Year’s Resolution to eat healthier shit that you probably abandoned somewhere around January 3rd when you just couldn’t stand the sight of one more sprig of kale. Fellow anti-dieters, have I got the diet for you. Our favorite fast food chain, Chick-fil-A, has just solved all of our dieting woes by giving us the best diet ever – eating nothing but nonstop nugs all day every day.
Don’t believe me? Here’s a Twitter screenshot of Chick-fil-A’s health advice for all of you dieters out there.
Chick-Fil-A suggests adding "one healthy habit" to your day, like eating chicken nuggets every three hours pic.twitter.com/PO3ADjyWUZ
— Rodger Sherman (@rodger_sherman) January 27, 2016
Basically, just eat an 8-pack of nuggets every three hours, and watch the pounds fall off. Granted, we’re talking grilled nuggets and there’s no mention of waffle fries or milkshakes, but this is still a liiiiittle ridiculous as far as health advice goes. We’re talking eating somewhere in the range of 5 boxes, or 40 grilled nuggets, every. Single. Day. In case you were more than a little curious about this diet, I did the math for you, and it’s not pretty.
While an 8-count of nugs only rings in at 140 calories (or 700 calories a day), you’ll also be taking in a daily 2600mg of sodium and 350mg of cholesterol. Just for reference, this is way over the absolute maximum recommended amount of sodium by medical health professionals by 300mg, and 50mg over the maximum amount of cholesterol you’re supposed to get. Not to mention that you’ll be working at a severe calorie deficit here – 1200 calories a day is the absolute minimum recommended amount of daily calories, so not only will you be literally starving, but you’ll be more likely to crave and binge on unhealthy foods (such as those waffries and shakes we just talked about), putting you in a worse place than when you started.
Try it if you must, but I’m going to add this diet to the list of things too good to be true, like a man instantly willing to commit or never breaking out on my period again. All in all, you’ll be better off sticking with those kale salads and getting an 8-pack of nuggets – the good kind, not the grilled ones – every now and then to celebrate your success..