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These Are, By Far, The Creepiest Tinder Pickup Lines Ever

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Be careful who you swipe right.

1
Hey! Just so you know, as long as you use that line you will remain a virgin.

13
I am your appendix, actually. Standby for a deep pain.

13
Thanks for keeping me informed, Joshua.

2
People in hell want ice water.

3
I’m guessing this guy has turned at least three girls gay.

17
I can’t think of anything I want to do less.

4
Jesus, Marcin. Calm down.

5
When monkeys fly out of my asshole?

16
I’ll think about it. But no.

6
Kick to the groin?

7
Sure. But there is a 103 percent chance that we’ll never have sex.

14
The worst part about this was the fact that he referred to his dick as “meat.”

8
When all else fails, try again. And fail again.

9
Are you the proctor? Because you’re ruining my life and I really fucking hate you.

10
Nice save.

11
No, I’m actually really ugly on the inside.

12
Eleven. For sure.

14

15
I’m just going to go ahead and say what we’re all thinking. There’s no way this guy hasn’t murdered at least six hookers.

If you have a hilarious Tinder interaction, send it to LuckyJoTSM@gmail.com.

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Lucky Jo

Lucky Jo is a former and current TSM writer who likes her men how she likes her coffee: way too hot and unforgivably bitter. She graduated from the University of Missouri in 2016, proving that C's do in fact get degrees. She now spends her days working for a social media marketing agency, hiking with her dachshund, and trying to bring back the scrunchie. Hate mail and goat memes can be sent to lucyjmulvihill@gmail.com.

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