This App Will Change Your Social Media “Weather” Game

Effing Cold

Social media is good for about three things:

1. Making other people jealous of you.
2. Keeping tabs on people you hate.
3. Bitching about the weather.

For the record, when it comes to making you look good on social media, I take my job very seriously. I was there to teach you how to take a proper selfie and how to be inspirational. I even explained why you should stop stalking those girls you hate, even though you didn’t listen to me. No offense taken. I didn’t listen to myself, either.

Unfortunately, I’ve slacked off a bit when it comes to talking about the weather, but that’s all about to change.

Now, before you lose interest and insist you don’t care about a *yawn* weather app, let me just call you a damn liar. If you have ever complained about the rain, heat, snow, or lack of cooler temperatures considering the fact that it is now officially fall, then you need this, and you need this stat.

Allow me to introduce Effing Weather.

Ladies, this is a weather app like no other. And, honestly, I’m pretty sure the only weather app any of us have on our phones is the generic one that comes with the device (which is actually really cool, because when it’s stormy, the screen flashes lightning and shit–bravo, Apple). But, your secret meteorologist hobby obsession is about to be rocked.

Effing Weather is a free (FREE!) application that gives it to you straight when it comes to what you can expect for your local forecast. It uses phrases such as, “If I wanted this weather I would have moved to fucking Seattle,” and “Why don’t you go tell everyone on Facebook how fucking hot it is?”

This app just gets it.

And, if you want to spice up your offensive weather app, you can purchase expansion packs that include phrases from “Breaking Bad,” “South Park,” “The Hunger Games,” and tons more. Sometimes we can have nice–albeit offensive–things.

Oh, and if you’re against the “offensive language” used (in which case, I’m sorry for everything I have ever written) there is an option to turn off the explicit word use, but I’m pretty sure that’s just for little bitches, and you’re not a little bitch, are you?

I don’t even think I need to say this, but be sure to take a screenshot of your forecast and post it on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. People will think you’re funny and clever, and they will actually like you. That doesn’t happen often when posting weather statuses, because, you know, weather statuses suck. We all know it’s raining. Thanks.

[via Effing Weather]

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Rachel Varina

(yeahokaywhat) Aspiring to be the next Tina Fey, Rachel spends her free time doing nothing to reach that goal. While judging people based on how they use "they're" vs. "there" on social media, she likes eating buffalo chicken dip, watching other people's Netflix, and wearing sweatpants way more than is socially acceptable.

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