This Girl’s Mom Absolutely Butchers Names Of All Her Friends

Social media is great. It allows you to cyber-stalk what your ex is up to, passive aggressively *like* your frenemy’s pictures, and share with the world how ridiculous your parents can be.

This past weekend Christina Duron, a Gamma Phi Beta at Texas State University, attended her last sorority formal. Shortly after the function, Christina’s proud mother, Patti, plastered pictures of her daughter from that night all over Facebook. Who could blame her? She only gave birth to this chick. Of course she wants to show off who exited her womb.

For most of us, it’s an unwritten rule to use the correct names of the people in the pictures you post on social media. It’s not like when you are seventeen and have to carry around a fake ID with an unconvincing name and the drunken alter ego that comes along with it. You’re granted the right to use real names. However, Christina’s mother is different. Yes, she mistakenly got the names wrong of her daughter’s friends. But the thing is, she really doesn’t seem to give a shit.


I got to talk with Christina about her mom’s social media habits. She told me, “All of my friends are friends with her on Facebook, so sometimes they tell me when she messes up their names. They all think it’s funny. My little was just like, ‘I get called every other blonde Gamma Phi’s name.’”


When I asked Christina when her mom first started doing this, Christina responded, “When I rushed I think it was harder for her because there are so many more people that I’m around.”


Christina also explained that her mom is, “kinda a wild card. She says whatever she wants and doesn’t apologize for it. She doesn’t try to be funny, but it’s impossible for her not to be because she’s just so ridiculous.”


But the best thing Christina told me was, “With almost every guy I’m talking to she gets them confused.” Oh shit.

I’m totally digging Patti’s rash posts. Keep doing you, Patti. We are all entertained.

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Kellie Stritz

Kellie, spelled with an "ie," practically resides at Starbucks even though they have yet to spell her name correctly. She's obsessed with the color pink, Elle Woods, and Bitmoji's. Her biggest accomplishment is breaking the record within her sorority for how many standards hearings she has had without getting kicked out. She spends her free time trying to stay tan (i.e. sunburnt) and stalking people on social media.

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