Can I just start by saying that I fucking love the internet? It has been brought to my attention that a six-foot tall, four-foot wide “Game of Thrones” inspired dildo iron throne is now for sale on eBay. The owner, a lucky man by the name of Ralph Jones, won the marvelous seat through a contest in March. He has since discovered that he can’t handle all that dick. What a pussy.
Our boy Ralph made the following video to showcase the throne.
Raise your hand if you were definitely not expecting this dude to be British.
My favorite part is when he clarifies, “I don’t see why you wouldn’t want it, really. It’s just about the best dildo throne I’ve ever seen.” Hold up. Exactly how many dildo thrones have you come across in your lifetime? Is this a normal thing?
The replica features more than 200 dildos and my God, it is beautiful. In a weirdly erotic, potentially fatal kind of way. Really gives a whole new meaning to the phrase, “Winter is coming.” Jones claims that the throne is just too big to fit in house, which sounds like a sexual innuendo, if you ask me.
Bidding starts at $650. Take what is yours with fire and blood. .
[via Mashable]
Image via YouTube
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Lucky Jo
Lucky Jo is a former and current TSM writer who likes her men how she likes her coffee: way too hot and unforgivably bitter. She graduated from the University of Missouri in 2016, proving that C's do in fact get degrees. She now spends her days working for a social media marketing agency, hiking with her dachshund, and trying to bring back the scrunchie. Hate mail and goat memes can be sent to lucyjmulvihill@gmail.com.
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