Ladies, I’m about to throw a crazy truth bomb all up on you. Your boyfriend wants to fuck your mom.
I know. I KNOW. I’m sorry. UGH. It hurts me, too. But according to an article by the Western Morning News, studies show that more than half of committed men find their “mother-in-law” attractive. And worse yet, 25 percent of them have an honest-to-God crush on her.
I’ll wait until you finish dry heaving.
Ready? Because there’s more. Apparently, most of our guys think our moms are hot. But not just like “mom hot.” One out of six guys think our moms are hotter than us. If you lined six guys up, one of those horny bastards would be busy checking out our birth giver. But it’s our MOM. Like, we can trust her, right? LOL. LAWL. El oh el. No. Hell no.
Why, you ask? Because your boyfriend and your mom and up to NO good. According to the article, 31 percent of men in relationships are pretty damn sure that their significant other’s momma is attracted to them. Plus, one in four guys admit to outright flirting with her. That’s right. They’re being dirty little assholes, and we will not stand for it!
So, while our men might be after our MILF-y moms, I’d just like to say that we can play that game, too. Not only is the dad bod so in right now, but there are a hell of a lot of dads out there that we’d like to bake some pie for (and by “bake pie,” I mean “fuck”). You know, DILFs:
Ashton Kutcher and Baby Wyatt pic.twitter.com/bJUFPmT1R9
— The Kutchers (@mila_ashton) March 10, 2015
So yes, there’s an epidemic sweeping the nation — a gross, disgusting, “can never leave my boyfriend and my mom alone together ever again” epidemic. But luckily, we can feel at ease. Sort of. Apparently, this whole “your mom is hot” mindset could also mean that our guys think we’ll be a MILF some day, too, which is flattering, I’ll admit, but still, I’m not letting this whole thing slide. If we’re living in a world where boys are after moms and moms are way too hot, then we have to be prepared. We have to fight back. So, if your boyfriend and mom are becoming a little too close, just remember the golden rule: Nothing says revenge quite like flirting with a hot dad..
[via Western Morning News]
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Rachel Varina
(yeahokaywhat) Aspiring to be the next Tina Fey, Rachel spends her free time doing nothing to reach that goal. While judging people based on how they use "they're" vs. "there" on social media, she likes eating buffalo chicken dip, watching other people's Netflix, and wearing sweatpants way more than is socially acceptable.
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