This Is Who He Wants To Cheat On You With


She’s your worst nightmare. You know who I’m talking about. With her long, flowing mermaid hair. Blonde, of course. She has piercing eyes and she’s annoyingly smart. She most likely wears lip liner during the day and her hobbies include yoga and “being open to life’s adventures.”

Ugh, she’s the worst. And according to Elite Daily, she’s also the person your boyfriend/husband/whatever wants to cheat on you with. As if you didn’t hate her enough.

Thanks to some riveting and in-no-way-necessary research done by, a dating website for horrible people, we have found the exact woman who guys are most likely to cheat with. And honestly? It’s exactly who you’d expect.

Out of the half of a million (married, cheating, slimy) men surveyed…

61 percent want a blonde.
47 percent want her to have green eyes.
30 percent want someone who is Asian.
32 percent want someone who is Caucasian.
87 percent want her to have a bachelor’s degree (or higher).
33 percent want her to be athletic.

But wait! It gets worse. They want to cheat with someone between the ages of 26 and 32, and 98 percent of the guys want their mistress to be single. You know, despite the fact that these men took a vow to stay faithful to their wives forever and ever amen. If that wasn’t dumb enough, the keywords guys used when searching for their perfect FWB? Energetic. Sensual. Openminded. And the real kicker? Yoga.

They want a fucking yoga instructor. Because none of this could get any more cliché.

So to all of the hot, blonde, yoga-ladies out there, don’t be assholes. Leave our guys for us. And watch out. I have a feeling everyone’s going to start hating you a little bit more. And to all of the married guys who are trying to get with these hot, blonde, yoga-ladies. Go fuck yourselves. With our bachelor’s degrees (or higher) we’re too smart for your bullshit and your downward dog jokes.

[via Elite Daily,]

Image via Shutterstock

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Rachel Varina

(yeahokaywhat) Aspiring to be the next Tina Fey, Rachel spends her free time doing nothing to reach that goal. While judging people based on how they use "they're" vs. "there" on social media, she likes eating buffalo chicken dip, watching other people's Netflix, and wearing sweatpants way more than is socially acceptable.

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