It started out like any other day. A normal woman with a normal life decided to be a little crazy. Sure, she was helping her friend move that day, and yes, there would be sweating. But she woke up feeling slender, sexy, and most likely, she wanted to make her pal jealous. So she reached into her “you’ll never actually wear this shit” drawer, cleared away the dust, and pulled out a pair of skinny jeans.
It’s a mistake even the smartest woman can make. You decide to be fashionable and “hip.” You think, “how bad could it be?” So you ignore the screaming sounds your leg skin makes as the denim slides against them, and you promise yourself that you won’t eat until you take them off. You suck in as you button them up, and you go out into the world, only to realize you made a huge, huge mistake.
For one 35-year-old woman, it just might have been the biggest mistake of her life (bum bum bummm).
According to ABC News:
The patient, who was not identified, spent most of the previous day helping someone move, squatting for long periods while emptying cupboards. Clad in skinny jeans, the woman said they felt increasingly tight and her feet were numb as she walked home, making her trip and fall. Unable to get up, she spent several hours stranded outside before getting to the hospital.
It gets worse. Once she finally got to the hospital, the doctors had to cut her out of her leg traps. She then remained bedridden for four days. Apparently her muscles just stopped working after damage, swelling, and nerve blockages all thanks to squatting while wearing skinny jeans. According to Dr. Thomas Kimbe, “squatting compressed the nerves in the lower leg, reducing the blood supply to the calf muscles and that the skinny jeans worsened the problem.”
While it really sucks to be her and blah blah blah, I think we can all learn a few things from this. Never help your friends move, but let’s be real, that’s just common knowledge. Throw your jeans away. Never wear them again, and never look back. They’re just going to hurt you. And finally, never SQUAT. Period. Never squat in skinnies. Never squat at the gym. Just never squat, okay? I mean, who needs a good ass if you’re not wearing jeans anyways?.
[via ABC News]
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