- OMG the joke I just sent was so funny.
- I bet he’ll think I’m super cute.
- And hilarious.
- And most likely decide to come over and surprise me with flowers.
- Or a ring. I know we’ve only been dating for two months, but when you know, you know. You know?
- I’m awesome.
- We’re awesome.
- I can’t wait to start our life together.
- I wonder where we’ll honeymoon. Hypothetically.
- Wait, has he texted back?
- When did I send that? Two minutes ago?
- Yeah. Hmmm, he probably hasn’t seen it yet.
- But, like, whatever.
- I’m not one of those girls who SITS by her phone just waiting for him to text back.
- I’m independent.
- I should turn my ringer on though, so I know when he does text back.
- While kind of glancing at my phone to see if he’s answered.
- Nope.
- What’s he doing? It’s been, like, seven minutes.
- I bet he left his phone in his room.
- No worries!
- Totally no big deal. I’ll just go grab a snack.
- I should take my phone with me though, just in case.
- I accidentally clicked the button on my phone when I grabbed it, and he still hasn’t answered.
- I should check to see if it went through.
- It says “delivered” but does that just mean it left MY phone?
- Or does that mean it arrived on his phone?
- Well, delivered means delivered. So, like, it delivered, but it doesn’t say received.
- Maybe he didn’t even get it yet.
- Or does it only say it was received if you have the read-receipt thing on?
- Damn iPhones.
- Wait, maybe he’s mad at me?
- Was what I wrote mean? Maybe he got upset.
- IT WAS A JOKE. UGH.
- I should send a smiley face just so he knows I was kidding.
- But then I’m double texting. I don’t want to seem desperate.
- Because I’m not. Obviously.
- It’s been 17 minutes since I sent the first text. If I send a follow up text, it’ll seem like I’m sitting here thinking about it.
- Shit.
- I’ll just wait a few more minutes.
- OH MY GOD, MY PHONE JUST WENT OFF. YES.
- It was my mom.
- Damn it, Mom.
- I should turn off the ringer. It’s making me way too anxious.
- What if he’s not mad at me about the text…but he’s mad about something else.
- Why would he be mad at me?
- What did I do?
- FUCK.
- How do I ALWAYS do something wrong?
- What? Like he’s perfect?
- He didn’t even get me a birthday present!
- Asshole.
- Why do I even care?
- I don’t.
- Fuck it, I’m going to text him.
- “:)”
- Good. Easy. Nice. Clear. Cool.
- That should clear up everything.
- Unless…
- What if he’s ignoring me?
- He probably is since he’s mad at me.
- Has he been on Facebook?
- He hasn’t posted anything, but if I go to the messenger thing, I can see if he’s been online.
- It says he hasn’t been on for nine hours.
- Hmm.
- Twitter?
- He hasn’t tweeted in seven weeks. So, shit.
- SHIT. Who doesn’t tweet once in seven weeks?
- Wait. What if he’s cheating on me?
- No, he wouldn’t.
- Right?
- I mean, he’s hot though. He could totally cheat on me.
- And guys only think with their dick.
- I bet it’s with the girl who he hugged at happy hour the other day.
- What a skank.
- I should see if she posted a picture of them.
- No…she hasn’t been online in a while, either.
- What if they aren’t online because they’re together?
- SCREWING?
- Oh. My. God. This is insane. Why would he cheat on me?
- UGH.
- I’m keeping my phone flipped over so I’ll stop fucking checking it.
- But I should put my ringer back on.
- Wait. He texted me back!
- Five minutes ago–I didn’t even realize!
- I’M SO CALM AND COOL I DIDN’T EVEN KNOW HE TEXTED BACK.
- HAAAAAA!
- What did he say, what did he say, what did he say?!
- “Lol”
- …
- What?
- Lol? LOL?
- Laughing out loud?
- Are you kidding me?
- Laughing out FUCKING loud?
- After all that, this is ALL I get?
- Did he even LOL?
- I bet he didn’t. I bet he thinks I’m a dumbass.
- Fuck this.
- I don’t even care.
- I’m not texting him back.
- Well, at least not for another three minutes.
- LOL.
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