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Throwback Thursday: Clueless, The Original Mean Girls

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: Mean Girls is, without a doubt, the most epic movie of our generation. It not only gave us an unlimited supply of recognizable quotes to use in daily situations, but it gave us the cinematic capturing of Lindsay Lohan in her prime. While Mean Girls is many things: hilarious, charming, engrossing, and awe-inspiring to name a few, is it ground-breaking? As if!

This Thursday, I’d like to give a throwback shout-out to the movie that inspired Mean Girls, and inspired all of us as young girls: Clueless. DUH.

Clueless, of course, is the story of Cher Horowitz, who lives a cushy life in Bel Air. She’s the daughter of an angry litigator, and her best friend is the Mean Girls equivalent of an “unfriendly black hottie.” Cher is pretty much perfect and has “BID!” written all over her. She has a philanthropic nature, which is demonstrated when she takes Tai (played by the deeply missed Brittany Murphy) under her wing and tries to make her cool. Not to mention, our protagonist also has the dream closet of, well…anyone. She has a computer pick out her outfits for her. I know her wardrobe might seem a little dated to the 2013 eye, but trust me, EVERY 90’s girl wanted a matching plain mini skirt/blazer combo to wear with knee socks. She also had the most adorable Jeep Wrangler, which I’m pretty sure is the 90’s equivalent of an SUV. The entire movie outlines the struggles of life in high school: trying to blackmail your teachers into raising your grades, being forced to ruin your Alaia dress when you’re held up at gunpoint after a party in the valley, and dealing with rude friends who don’t appreciate how much you’ve helped them climb the social ladder.

How did Clueless directly influence Mean Girls? While it’s obvious Cher was less of a mean girl, Clueless was the anthem of any over-privileged teenager growing up in the 90’s. Some call the movie a “satire,” but I call it a “cold, hard dose of reality.” Cher was everything. She had a huge house, a band of followers, a gay best friend who she tried to have sex with, a sweet car and a messed up family. I’m pretty sure Cher was just divided into parts to create The Plastics. Regina got Cher’s awesome house, and wardrobe, and car, and loyal friends who believed she was infallible. Gretchen got her own set of Daddy issues and materialistic nature (hello white gold hoops!). Karen got well…her clueless nature. Cady Herron, of course, was the “project” of The Plastics. She was the Tai equivalent to the movie. All Cher wanted to do was help Tai fit in out of the kindness of her own heart, and she inadvertently created a monster that almost destroyed her, which is exactly what happened with Cady and Regina.

And of course, where Mean Girls afforded us approximately one billion quotes to use in our daily lives, Clueless gave us these gems:

“You’re a virgin who can’t drive.”
Which is applicable in a variety of situations. Just replace “drive” with a verb of your choice and throw it in the face of whichever self-righteous virgin is irritating you.

“I’m bugging out.” (Spoken in a completely calm tone.)
This was just an example of how you can tell everyone you’re having an anxiety attack, when actually you’re completely fine and you just need attention. See, present day: “I’m freaking out,” “I’m having a panic attack,” or “I’m going to kill myself.” See? We’re so dramatic.

“He does dress better than I do. What would I bring to the relationship?”
An important factor to consider while entertaining the tried and true “Hook UP, date DOWN” method.

And of course, Clueless gave us the right to end any discussion or debate with “Whatever” and call it a day.

So in case you’re wondering how to spend your afternoon, because it’s syllabus week and you’re an idiot if you’re actually doing “work,” go ahead and watch Clueless. You’re welcome.

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