TSM Fail Friday: Daddy Buys My Love

Ten real TSM submissions, and one video that didn’t seem quite right. Names were omitted to protect the guilty.

Having a miscarriage in an Abercrombie and Fitch dressing room. TSM.
–New York

Immediate fetal suicide upon realizing it would have a future filled with ripped denim and too much cologne.

Fratdaddy gave me a box of dog shit, needless to say i ate it all. TSM

You’re full of shit.

I knew I chose the right Fratdaddy when he let me go on other guys’ Date Dashes just for the shirt. TSM.
–Washington State

I prefer boyfriends who still have their balls, but that’s just me.

I would be bulimic, but my teeth are too pretty to ruin. TSM

I would be too, but I don’t have a gag reflex. KIDDING! Disordered eating is NS.

Threw up on my date on the way to a bus party. Popped in some gum and we made started making out. TSM.


My fratdaddy says he loves me. By me he means what I will inherit. TSM

A man whose goal is to live off of my father’s money has always been a dream of mine too.

Dont worry, I can have daddy pay for you too. TSM

And this ladies and gentleman, is what it ACTUALLY looks like to buy your friends.

Tattooing your sorority’s symbol on your ass during Spring Break. TSM

Maybe they can put a pic of that in the recruitment slideshow!

Classy: Being the skank no one expects, but ever man notices. TSM.
–North Carolina

My rough definition was always something like…embodying grace and elegance through perfect manners, eloquent speech, and stylish dress. Boy, was I off!

I strive to be just like Laura “Fugging” Penny every day. TSM.

You know she’s a dude, right?

Oh my…

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