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TSM Fail Friday: Unhappy Mother’s Day

Ten real TSM submissions and one video that didn’t seem quite right. Names were omitted to protect the guilty.

Fratdaddy said over the next two weeks whoever gave the best blowie would go to formal with him. I obvs won. TSM.
–California

You willingly submitted yourself to a blow job contest? Like you were just like…oh, these other bitches suck…but not as well as I do. Ohhhhhh. Moron.

Disaffiliating because my sisters are too pretty for me. TSM.
–Kentucky

Everyone wins.

I’d never fuck on the first date…I’d also never go on a first date. TSM.
–Delaware

First state > First date.

Farting in class and then blaming it on the geed next to you. TSM.
–Idaho

TotalSixthGradeBoyMove

Getting your new monogram tattooed on your wrist once you get engaged. TSM.
–Nebraska

I hope they used a dirty needle.

Putting on your whole bottle of concealer Monday morning because your weekend was THAT good. TSM.
–California

Good weekend, bad face. It’s all semantics.

Bringing a date to formal you just want to hook up with. then not being able to forget about him because the asshole covered your neck in hickeys. TSM.
–New York

It sounds like he really cares about you.

When there are more than two guys you’ve slept with in the same room. TSM
–California

Well, you can’t help it that you’re so popular.

I hope to spend this Mother’s Day getting impregnated. TSM.
–Arkansas

Really? Because I hope someone like you can’t reproduce. Only one of us will have a Happy Mother’s Day this year.

I was just diagnosed with bi-polar disorder, but it’s ok because now I’m literally a lady in the streets and a freak in the sheets. Plus I’m pretty. TSM.
–Texas

Favorable scores on the hot-to-crazy scale are always in style.

This is not the song I learned…

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