Meet Cason Kirby. He’s a University of Alabama alumnus and former SGA president running for the City Board of Education in Tuscaloosa, Alabama. He and running mate Lee Garrison ran against Kelly Horowitz and Denise Hills earlier this week. As part of his campaign program, Kirby did something ingenius, and possibly illegal. He encouraged sorority girls to vote, by offering them incentives.
Thanks to Kirby, limousines were spotted on sorority row this Tuesday, offering sorority girls rides to the polls. While the girls were welcome to vote for whomever they pleased, “Kirby/Garrison” placards were found on many of the sorority house lawns. Four additional voting incentives were offered to the sorority girls. Among them was points for the sorority and the individual toward UA’s Panhellenic chapter assessment program, and free drinks. Two downtown bars, Innisfree and Moe’s, were rented out by the Kirby campaign, and students who could show an “I Voted” sticker to a sorority representative were provided free cover and one drink at each venue.
It seems as though Kirby must have had a run-in with a sorority girl or two in his day at UA. All we want in life is to be pampered and paid for…and to avoid mandatory events. Give us that, and we’ll give you anything you want, even guys like you, Cason. Just kidding. (No, I’m not.) If voting meant I didn’t have to listen to some guy giving me a speech asking me to donate money to Uganda for reasons I can’t recall, AND I got free drinks, you’d better believe I’d be on the first limo over to the polls, and subsequently, the bars, where I’d probably give his hotter, older brother (who may or may not actually exist) a handy just to really show my appreciation.
Unsurprisingly, Kirby and Garrison won the election.
Image via casonkirby.com