When I would tell half-adults that I’d chosen the University of Delaware for my continued education, I was always met with the same reaction — a raised eyebrow to accompany their proclamation, “Ohhh, that’s a party school,” as if my student teachers, older cousins, and cool super seniors who still worked at summer camp with me had some sort of new understanding of the girl taking AP Psychology instead of late-in first period “for fun.” I never understood why they made it such a big deal. Delaware was the only college party scene I knew, so I thought my experience was comparable to everyone else’s. There were surely bigger schools in the area, but after a few visits to SUNY Binghamton, TCNJ, and Villano-fun, I realized that for a mid-sized school in a lame state, Delly really held it down. We partied as hard as we could for the size of our student body, and the fact that Delaware bars close at 1 (#postgame). We really were a small wonder.
Delaware, though, the underappreciated ragers that they are, felt they needed to prove themselves. What better way to show the world you’re a bunch of drunken buffoons than welcoming some douchebags with cameras to your school under the guise “I’m Shmacked.”
“I’m Shmacked” is a group of guys who go from campus to campus filming parties for documentaries. To my knowledge, the fraternities wouldn’t let the film crew in (because they’re smart), so partygoers hit up the rugby house on South College Avenue. When the party was broken up, things eventually got a little bit heated. Literally. A car was set on fire on Main Street where students rioted in the streets. RIOTED. Like, screaming, chanting, and climbing on moving cars rioted.
UDPD as well as Delaware State Police were called to contain the drunk students. In response to police dogs, students cleared the streets while sing-screaming, “Who let the dogs out?” (It was me, okay?! I let the dogs out! Feels good to get that off my chest after all these years.)
Per senior, and cutie patootie Jenn Jond:
Literally, it was all freshmen and sophomores, because everyone I spoke to thinks this is so stupid. Like. Why. All the seniors are pissed and freaking out that the school’s going to be like “Homecoming, bye. Halloween, bye. St. Patty’s Day, bye. Greek Games day, bye.”
She’s single, fellas.
This seems to be the consensus throughout the upperclassmen. Senior Arielle Miick chimes in:
You could tell it was freshmen by their slutty little outfits. I literally came downstairs in sweatpants from my apartment on Main Street to see, like, 50 cop cars, people doing backflips in the streets and a car on fire. Be an arsonist on your own time, because if this means the cops are going to be on our asses at every party my senior year, I’m going to be pissed.
Rumors have been spreading that homecoming may be canceled (I oughtta cancel your spring fling!), in which case, I will find all 4,000 of you and show you what your senior bitch’s senior bitch looks like. No official disciplinary action has been taken at this time.
As of now, I’m Shmacked is still scheduled to be on UD’s campus tonight and tomorrow night, but I’m sure that won’t be for long.
[h/t @jenisjond, @arielletaylor]
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Veronica Ruckh
Veronica (@VeronicaRuckh) is the Director of Total Sorority Move for Grandex, Inc. After having spent her undergraduate years drinking $4 double LITs on a patio and drunk texting away potential suitors, she managed to graduate with an impressive GPA and an unimpressive engagement ring -- so unimpressive, in fact, some might say it's not there at all. Veronica has since been fulfilling her duties as "America's big," a title she gave to herself with the help of her giant ego. She has recently switched from vodka to wine on weekdays. Email her at veronica@grandex.co
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