I’ve never advised sending out nudies, particularly nudies that have your face in them. It’s just risky. You can’t trust boys these days. A guy recently told me he’d forwarded my tits to his friend because my face wasn’t in them so he “didn’t think it would matter.” His biggest mistake was obviously telling me he’d forwarded them, admittedly. I realize that I’m being a hypocrite here, what with sending photos after I just said it’s inadvisable, but do as I say, not as I do.
Even if you can trust your guy to keep your photos private (I hear that’s how they know they’re in love), can you even trust yourself? Maybe you drunkenly lose your phone, and someone scrolls through your photos and sees that you tried to take the same tit pic seven different times. Embarrassing. Maybe you try to Instagram and screenshot your goodies, because everything looks better through a filter, but instead of hitting “cancel,” you hit “share,” letting all your friends and family know, not only what your naked body looks like, but also that you’re slutty enough to send photos of it to some dude. Who knows? Maybe in your attempt to attach a file to an email, you accidentally attach a video of yourself cyber sexing with your boyfriend. Sounds just awful, doesn’t it? Just ask the University of Iowa TA Anh Nguyen who sent the following email to her class last night.
Students opened the zip file, and what they found was not the solutions to numbers 76 and 78, as fate would have it. Instead, they found their TA amid a steamy (ish) cyber sex sesh with a male partner. We’ve not obtained the full video, but through the .GIFs that were emailed in, we see an Asian gentleman pulling his *ahem* member out of his boxer briefs (and it’s not true what they say about Asians!), our TA licking her lips and moving her arms, simulating…third base, and some full-on boobie action from our female lead.
This morning, Nguyen taught her 7:30am discussion as if nothing had happened, which is exactly how I would have played it off. You can ask any guy I’ve ever seen on campus the morning after text-bombing him. If you don’t acknowledge it, it never happened.
Image via Bloomberg Businessweek
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Veronica Ruckh
Veronica (@VeronicaRuckh) is the Director of Total Sorority Move for Grandex, Inc. After having spent her undergraduate years drinking $4 double LITs on a patio and drunk texting away potential suitors, she managed to graduate with an impressive GPA and an unimpressive engagement ring -- so unimpressive, in fact, some might say it's not there at all. Veronica has since been fulfilling her duties as "America's big," a title she gave to herself with the help of her giant ego. She has recently switched from vodka to wine on weekdays. Email her at veronica@grandex.co
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