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Unwedded Bliss: Why Your MRS Degree Actually Sucks

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Growing up, I always thought I would meet my future husband in college. There would be a really cute story about how we met, like he knocked over my books at the library, or he spilled my double vodka cran on me at the bar on a Tuesday night. Then in high school, I decided that my high school sweetheart and I were going to last forever (we’ve all been there). Once I realized he was holding me back from being myself in college–I mean, I couldn’t freely DFMO on tables at mixers–I went back to the idea that I was going to meet Mr. Right in college. We would graduate together, get married a year later, and blah, blah, blah.

I’ve since discovered that this is dumb. Sure, it’s great to lock down a good one, but if he’s forever I just don’t see the harm in waiting. Instead, let’s rage in the middle of the week, collect shack shirts, remember we don’t have “real” responsibilities, and let Daddy’s credit card foot the bills for now. Once you say “I do,” Dad is no longer the one man in your life, and he will take away that CC so quickly you won’t even know what hit you. Your 23-year-old husband works an entry-level job and makes $30 grand a year–you quickly see your MRS degree isn’t going to cover your once-normal shopping habits. It’s not even going to cover the bar tab in suburbia where the Tuesday night specials don’t include $3 Long Islands.

Some people argue that young love is great and that you should get married if you’re happy. Again, this is dumb. Love doesn’t pay your rent. Love doesn’t pay your cell phone bill. Love doesn’t support the baby you pop out at 24 while your friends are living the postgrad dream of happy hours and Sunday morning brunches–and nobody wants to brunch with a baby. On a selfish note, I also don’t want your baby bump in my wedding. That sounds bad, but whatever. There will be no cankles in my wedding photos.

What it all boils down to is this: enjoy your life, have fun with your friends, and let Dad help you out as long you can. If that boy you met in college is still around when you’re 26, then I’ll be at your wedding taking sips out of my wine bra and will genuinely be happy for you.

Image via Bridal Banter

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TequilaTalesTSM

Megan's hobbies include tailgating and taking screenshots of cats then sending them to her roommates. She sings her fight song at inappropriate times and lives by the mantra that it's never too early to tailgate.

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